Fallon: Prologue, Chapters 1-2

This is one of my more recent developments. I haven't gotten very far but I'm still working on it.

Prologue
Fear. In my world it’s the only ting that keeps you alive. The fearless do not exist; they were killed off years ago. Too dangerous for civilized life, Fallon became a prison for the system’s most infamous and notorious criminals. From serial killers and rapists to drug lords and mafia, only the worst of the worst were subjected to life on Fallon.
Once deported your life became nothing more than a memory lost to time, for once here there are only two sentences: life or death. Who you were makes no difference. The most powerful drug lords have died at the hands of murderers who they had used and abused as disposable underlings. Once on Fallon a new life begins, primal and savage. Only the strong survive and the strong are the Vale.
As time passed men have tried and failed to subjugate the few who had managed to survive the planet’s unforgiving environment. Clans came and went as leaders rose and fell in an attempt to conquer Fallon’s outcast population. All failed until Thor, son of a former drug lord and serial killer fought his way to the top, gathering followers with each bloody step. And so arose the first Vale.
Now, three generations later, you are either Vale or you are dead, for if the planet doesn’t kill you, they will.
And now I suppose you’re wondering how a seventeen year old girl ended up on such an unforgiving and inhospitable planet.
Come with me and I’ll tell you a tale…



Chapter 1
Odds
A young girl of fourteen, innocent, naïve, and ready for anything life would throw at her, I was too adventurous for my own good. A result of my strict upbringing and unyielding parents, my rebellious spirit was just beginning to rear its head.
So, two months before my fifteenth birthday my friends convince me, with little resistance on my part, to ditch violin lessons. It wasn’t long before we found ourselves on the wrong side of town, hiding behind a dumpster at the head of the infamous drug dealer’s alley.

Day was quickly fading to dusk, a cool breeze replacing the muggy heat of the day. A shiver crawled its way down my spine as I witnessed the happenings of drug dealer’s alley. Maggie cowered behind Steven, a mix of fear and excitement lighting her eyes.
Minutes passed, druggies and dealers alike coming and going. It wasn’t hard to tell the two apart. The druggies were almost always disheveled with that desperate, hungry look in their eyes. The dealers were more put together. It was a rule that the dealers never partook; they knew what would happen to them if they did. They witnessed it everyday, a constant reminder of what could happen if they slipped even once.
I was repulsed and yet at the same time fascinated. Why would anyone choose such a life?
A shove from behind brought me out of my pondering as I nearly fell into the sight of dozens of men and women who would be more than a little upset when they learned they had an audience.
“Are you crazy?” I turned to find Mark with a crooked grin plastered across his face.
“Come on Ver, I dare you. Just a little ways.”
My hands balled into fists. “What do you think I am, ten kinds of stupid? You first,” I spat back at him.
Grabbing his arm, I pulled him forward just to give him a taste of his own medicine, but things went terribly wrong. I hadn’t noticed Mark had hold of my sleeve. Together we crashed to the ground in plain view of the entire alley and all its occupants.
Panic froze my limbs as two ghoulish men ran in our direction, one short and squat, the other tall, dark and ugly. I looked over to find Mark unconscious. I felt a scream building in my lungs as the two men started to run. Control finally returned and I leapt to my feet only to find a pair of large, rough hands restraining me. One of his hands moved to cover my mouth, ready to stifle a scream that would never be heard.
“Not leaving so soon are you? The fun’s just starting.” His breath slithered across my cheek, the stench of it churning my stomach.
“Quit with the sweet talk, Kal.” The short, blonde seemed to inspire fear in the monster who held me captive as he stiffened for a moment before responding in a calm, collected tone.
“Yes Boss.”
The blonde looked from me to Mark still out cold on the refuse encrusted asphalt, to the dumpster where Maggie, John, and Steven still hid. He turned back to me, a smug smile mocking me and the secret I wish I could have kept. Nodding his head in the direction of the dumpster, tall, dark and ugly stepped forward, pulling a gun from his shoulder holster. I tried to scream a warning but Kal’s hand stifled my attempt.
Three shots echoed through the alley, the only sound besides the soft chuckles that sent waves of fury through my veins. Overpowering fear and caution, fury empowered my mind and body. I bit down hard on Kal’s calloused hand, the rusty taste of blood coating my mouth. Grabbing his injured hand I twisted it as far as I could. There was a curse and I was free.
Thought fled as instinct pushed its way forward. I was running without having told my body to do so. There was a dark, open doorway on the right and I knew it was my only hope.
A gunshot stopped me cold in my tracks, but I wasn’t the intended target. I told myself not to look, but I had to. Mark lay as he had before, the only difference was a red stain spreading across his t-shirt.
The tall one had emerged from behind the dumpster, his crisp, white, button down shirt splattered with blood, marking him the murderer he was. All three men stared at me as I looked on in horror.
“Get rid of her and meet me back at the Hart.” The blonde turned around and left as if he had just finished a business transaction.
A few feet from the door, I looked on defiantly as Kal and Ugly raised their guns. I dashed through the doorway as they rushed after me.
Unsure of what propelled me to do it, I huddled against the wall only a few feet from the door, completely enveloped in shadow. Pitch black painted the room dark, only a dusky light penetrated the blanket of blackness. Moments later shadow consumed what little light remained as the two thugs entered.
“You go that way, I’ll take this way.”
I wasn’t sure who had spoken and didn’t really care as long as I could get out of there alive. The two separated slowly fading into the shadows.
Whatever bravery I had felt before was gone, replaced with paralyzing fear. Huddling into the unyielding wall, eyes trained on my only escape I listened intently for any sound of my pursuers. It seemed like years before I dared uncurl my stiff arms and legs. Edging forward I kept my senses peeled for any signs of the two men.
Slipping out the door, I let out an inward sigh of relief. Now if only I could get home safely. I turned for the closest way out and bumped into something solid. I managed to catch myself before knocking my head on the pavement and looked up to see what I had run into. Emotionless blue eyes stared down at me. My stomach twisted in knots as he pulled out his gun and pointed it at my chest.
“Got here just in time it looks like.” Never taking his eyes from me he yelled for his two men. “Kal, Tony, get out here you useless trash.”
An earthquake preceded their breathless arrival at the door.
“Yes Boss?” Bent over in an attempt to catch their breath, they looked up and froze when I met their gaze. Kal raised his gun, eager to fix his mistake and redeem himself.
The Boss turned his gun from me to Kal. “I think you’ve done enough damage for one day.”
Kal raised his hands, gun hanging from a finger.
“Change of plans. It seems the brat is the daughter of Governor Johnson. We kill her and instead of turning a blind eye to drug dealer’s alley, he’ll tear this place apart.”
“So what’re you thinking Boss?” Tony asked returning his gun to its holster. “Ransom?”
“See, this is why your job is to follow orders. Ransom would be just as bad; he’d tear this place apart looking for her. No, we have to lure the dogs away from the trail, set a false trail.”
“Then why not kill her and hide the body?” Kal interjected.
“Because you dimwit, there’s always a chance they’ll find the body and we can’t take that risk. We have to take her somewhere she can’t escape and blab about everything she’s seen and heard, somewhere no one will ever find her.”
I lay on the ground wondering what fate had in store for me.
A glimmer of understanding lit up Tony’s face after a minute of puzzling over the new information. “Somewhere off planet.”
“Now you’re catching on.”
“Omega Prime,” Tony guessed.
The Boss slapped Tony across the head. “One step forward, two steps back. It’s always the same with you. No, not Omega Prime. All she’d have to do is escape and hop a transport to get home. No, she goes to the Delta system.”
“Of course,” Tony snapped his fingers. “Delta Prime.”
The Boss slapped him harder. “Fallon you idiot. Fallon, the prison world. No one ever comes back from there. And this way if she dies no one can tie it to us. Everyone will think her a common runaway.”

They had tied my hands and feet before stuffing me in a wooden crate. At first I had panicked, hyperventilating as darkness consumed me and my small prison grew ever smaller, the walls closing in one me. Unashamed, the tears fell as my mind turned to home. Why couldn’t I have just gone to my violin lessons?
Panic gradually subsided, replaced by the aches and pains of remaining in the same position too long. I was lying on my side with no room to straighten my legs. Shifting my weight, I attempted to roll to my back. Halfway there I got stuck and I did everything to keep myself calm before I had another panic attack. Inch by agonizing inch I maneuvered my way onto my back, breathing an audible sigh of relief.
Hours, days, weeks. I couldn’t be sure how much time had passed. My crate was moved a few times and I was sure they transported me in some kind of vehicle. Sleep only came when exhaustion finally overcame fear and discomfort.
The creaking of boards woke me from my dreamless sleep. A shaft of light blinded me as my prison doors were pried open.
“Get her out of there Kal.”
Rough hands reached in and grabbed my arm, trying to wrench me to my feet, but I was too weak and hopeless to comply.
“She ain’t movin’ Boss.”
“Then pick her up and carry her.”
No sooner was the command given then I was lifted up and carried to a fate that would surely kill me.
In the light of predawn I could see the outline of an intersystem transport. Kal followed the Boss as he led us around back. As we neared the shop letters appeared, slowly forming a single word: Destiny.
Boss led us around back to a small trap door where he instructed Kal to open it and take me inside.
“Make sure Miss Johnson gets the best accommodations Destiny has to offer.”
Kal chuckled. “Of course. Nothing but the best for the Governor’s daughter.”
Parading through a maze of hallways and corridors, I soon lost all sense of direction. I was hoping that we might somehow run into a crew member to give me one last chance of escape, but it wasn’t to be.
A large set of iron doors reared up ahead. Kal pushed a few buttons and the doors slid open. Dim lights lined the ceiling and floor revealing dozens of faces, men and women alike, young and old. The eyes of all were cold, dead, reserved to the fate that awaited them. Dark circles around their eyes left them looking like the living dead. They didn’t even try to escape though only a single man stood in their way. If anything they shrunk away from their only possibility of escape.
Kal was none too gentle when he dropped me inside amidst the prisoners. Not a single acknowledgement from the crowded room, I became a part of the lifeless and hopeless entity that held the prisoners in sway. The doors groaned their way closed, my last desperate hopes left behind.
For the longest time I lay still and quiet drinking in the despair that would numb all else. Not until tremors shook the ship did I realize the journey to my uncertain future had begun. A buzzer sounded and the lights flashed red. Unsure of what was happening, I sat up to find everyone moving to the walls. I sat alone near the door as the tremors increased.
A large, black man stepped away from the walls. There was something different about him that made him stand out from the crowd. He wore a tattered shirt beneath a light brown leather coat and dark pants tucked into dirty, worn boots. Holding out a hand, our eyes met for a moment and I realized what was so different about him. His eyes held life. He was not beaten by the hopeless situation. He fought.
“You should hold onto something. Take-off is gonna be rough.”
Reluctantly I took his hand and he helped me to my feet and to the safety of the wall.
“My name’s Ronan.” Though he was only inches away he had to shout to be heard above the drone of the engines.
“Veraline Johnson. Just Vera actually.” My name no longer mattered where we were going.
People crowded closer as the ride became rougher. Ronan led me to the wall, keeping the crowd at a safe distance as the ship ascended. For the next few minutes I studied this man. He looked like a criminal with his disheveled clothes, dreadlocks, and scarred face, but his eyes spoke of a kind, gentle man.
As soon as the tremors ended and we were out of the planet’s atmosphere the group dispersed, leaving Ronan and I as close to alone as was possible in the confined space.
“So what are you in for? I can’t see you being a criminal.”
I wasn’t sure how much I should tell him, if anything. After a few moments I decided it couldn’t hurt if he knew.
“I saw something I wasn’t supposed to. This is my punishment for rebelling against my parents.”
“So why not just kill you? Easier than going through all the trouble of shipping you off to a place you’re likely to die anyway.”
I flinched at his blunt honesty of the situation. He never apologized, only waited for an answer.
“Because I’m a governor’s daughter. They couldn’t have my father snooping around and interfering with their operations. So they decided to make it look like I ran away. Leave no witnesses.” I was still numb as I recalled the events in drug dealer’s alley. Friends dead, family forever lost to me. It hadn’t set in.
“It’s hard to imagine people who could do such a thing to a young girl. Monsters, that’s what they are.”
I was curious and assuming it was alright since he asked first, I decided to learn what I could. “And you? Why are you here?”
A dark cloud shadowed his face, his eyes staring into the distance. “I hunted down the monsters that killed my wife and five year old daughter.” His fists clenched in his lap and I could see the pain his memories stirred. Then it was gone, a mask silently put in place.
So Ronan and I were in the same boat, different than the others on the ship, yet headed for the same fate.
Ronan quickly changed the subject. He explained how everything worked. From the Andromeda system, Ronan had already been on the ship for two months. Meals were served twice daily. A tub full of watery oatmeal for breakfast and rice for supper was wheeled into the room. The strongest got first pick. The weak ate last and sometimes not at all if nothing was left. Even before we reached the planet the weak were already being weeded out.
Explaining the hierarchy on the transport, Ronan taught me who to stay away from, who it was safe to talk to and where in the room I could sleep. I committed everything to memory knowing it was the only way I was going to survive the three month journey to Fallon.

A week into space and I was nearly driven mad with cabin fever. How was it possible to stay in a single room for a whole week let alone three months? To ease the encroaching madness I spent as much time as I could either sleeping or daydreaming until one day Ronan pulled me to my feet, shaking me from my stupor.
“None of that now. You’ll only drive yourself to insanity faster.”
“Then what do you suggest I do, knock on the door and ask politely to be let out to run around the ship?”
Pulling on a dirty strand of my hair, he gave me his “don’t be smart with me” look.
“Have you not been watching the others?”
I laughed bitterly. “What’s to watch? Most just lie around like me.”
“And do you not see what it does to them? They are resigned to death, though they have a chance to live. They grow weaker everyday when they should be fighting to grow stronger and improve their chances.”
“Chances?” I didn’t want hope when I knew there was none. “No one survives Fallon. Why do you think they send people there? I’ll tell you why. Because they want them dead without bloodying their hands. I should know; my father spoke of it often enough.”
I sat back down, regretting only a little the truth I had uttered. What right had I to take his hope away just because mine was gone? But then again wasn’t it better to accept the truth and move on?
An unwanted tear escaped, slowly running down my cheek. I desperately wanted to hope; I didn’t want to die.
Ronan knelt down and wiped the tear away. “You only think that way because you don’t know any better. Let me tell you where I come from.”
He began spinning a tale of danger and mystery.
Ronan had not come from Andromeda Prime as I had assumed. He was from Andromeda Five. My mouth fell open in complete and utter shock. Andromeda Five was a planet known for its extremes, from lifeless deserts to jungles that were home to giant carnivorous beasts.
Ronan was a member of the Raptor tribe named after the regal bird that ruled the skies and canopies of the rain forest. Painting a picture of fierce warriors and superior hunters, Ronan told me of his childhood and teen years. He had held a bow long before he learned to walk. From the beginning he was taught to survive in his deadly home.
Father a hunter, Ronan took on the trade and soon his name was known throughout the local tribes. No man could match his skills.
“Only one beast had the ability to evade my attempts to catch it. The great moor cat was the hunter I strived to emulate. Silent as death itself, slyer than a fox, and more slippery than a snake, he was the ultimate hunter.”
Ronan edged closer, lowering his voice to a whisper. “I hear they have such cats on Fallon only they are the size of small whales.”
I could feel the blood drain from my face. I had begun to feel a little better, sure survival was a possibility if I stuck with Ronan, bit now I wasn’t so sure. The eager almost hungry look in his eyes chilled me to the bone.
“From what I’ve heard, Fallon is much like my home world, only more dangerous.”
“Why do I get the feeling you’re happy about this?”
He smiled, showing off yellowed teeth. “I’ve been locked up in iron rooms for five years. I couldn’t have asked for a better sentence. I’ll finally be able to live again.”
At the time I didn’t understand. How could fighting to stay alive each and every day for the rest of your life be considered living? To me it seemed a fate worse than death.
Ronan stood, holding his hand out. I just looked at it.
“What?”
“You don’t want to die, do you?”
I wasn’t sure what he was talking about.
“No.”
He offered his hand again and I took it. I was pulled to my feet where Ronan started circling.
“First things first, then. We need to build up your strength and endurance.”
“And how exactly do we do that when we barely have room to move around?”
With a devilish smile and a twinkle in his eye, he pointed to the ground.
“What?”
“Push-ups. As many as you can.”
“But --”
“Now.”
Groaning, I did as he asked. Physical Educations was my least favorite subject in school and push-ups had quickly become the bane of my existence.
To my surprise Ronan got down and started doing push-ups right beside me. We got a few odd stares but it didn’t seem to bother Ronan so I paid it no mind.
I collapsed after my fifteenth one while Ronan was on his fiftieth and still going like he had just started.
“Done already?” I groaned in response. “Looks like we have a lot of work ahead of us.”
Once he had finished his eight hundred push-ups we started squats then sit-ups. By the end of the day I could hardly keep my eyes open even to eat the rice Ronan had brought.
Day after day he pushed me to the limits of my strength. Improvement was minimal at best and I found my spirits dwindling a little more each day. Three weeks had passed since we had begun training. Time was passing too quickly. Only two months remained until we would be faced with the test of Fallon.
“Up Vera; it’s time to start.”
Lying face down on the floor, I refused to move.
“What’s the point? I’m not getting any better; in fact I might be getting worse.”
“Alright, we’ll take a break today and start something new instead.”
He nudged me with his foot.
“Come on; this one’s easy, I promise.”
Grudgingly I sat up. At least I wouldn’t be hurting at the end of the day.
“Sit up straight and close your eyes.”
I gave him a questioning glance before closing my eyes.
“Surviving the jungles of Fallon will take more than strength and endurance. When in the wilds you must use all of your senses.”
The swish of cloth preceded the touch of fabric against my closed eyes.
“Wh--”
“From today onwards you will do everything with this blindfold on.”
“Are you insane? What happens if I end up stepping on someone?” I couldn’t believe he expected me to wear the blindfold for two months.
“Learn from your mistakes.”
“I thought you said this would be easy.”
His laughter faded into the distance as he was lost in the crowd.
“Ronan? Ronan this isn’t funny.”
He never came back, not even at supper when he usually brought me food. I had never ventured to the tub of food at meal times because it was so rough. The usual downtrodden, hopeless crowd became a mob, each person fighting for the largest portion of food they could get their hands on. This bellied the impression I had received that they had resigned themselves to death. If they had, why would they fight so hard for food that would sustain them? No matter how many times they told themselves they had accepted their fate, or how much they wanted to, a part of them wouldn’t allow it. A small part kept fighting.
It wasn’t long before survival mode kicked in for me. I had gone a whole day with no food or water and I could feel my body weaken little by little. My body realized I had to risk the mob or I would soon be too weak to fight my way through and I would die a slow, painful death. Part of me wanted to believe Ronan wouldn’t let me starve to death, but a small whisper of doubt crept in. He hadn’t come yet. Maybe he wasn’t the man I thought he was. Shaking as I stood, my legs were unsteady, but still able to support my weight. The familiar creek of the doors announced meal time as the crew members dragged the tub inside. Bodies shifted restlessly as they waited for the doors to close. The click of locks was drowned out in the chaos of rushing bodies of which I was a part.
All elbows and knees, I fought fiercely for my place at the tub. Taking a few hits in the ribs, stomach, and face, I wondered why I didn’t just remove the blindfold. It would be easy to reach up and tear the thing off and give myself better odds, but something stayed my hand. I had something to prove, not to Ronan, but to myself. I had to know there was reason to hope. If I couldn’t do this, how could I even begin to think survival on Fallon was possible?
I struggled on until, miraculously, I felt the hard, cold metal of the tub. Thrusting a hand inside, I grabbed as much rice as I could, using my shirt as a bowl. Two, three handfuls then I was thrust away. Stubbornly I held on to my hard won prize as I was pushed and shoved out of the way. Only, once I reached the outer limits of the crowd, the pushing and shoving became grasping and pulling. Those too weak to reach the tub ganged up on me, trying to get even a small morsel of food. It wasn’t long before my shirt was torn ragged, spilling the rice across the floor.
Tears of anger and frustration threatened to spill over, but biting my lip, I returned to the fray. I knew there was no second chance. The fight progressively grew worse as the remaining food diminished. Instead of grabbing, shoving, and pulling, people threw punches and kicks in an attempt to weaken their opponents. One punch to my gut left black and red spots in my vision, threatening to drag me under the blanket of unconsciousness. I don’t recall the second hit that took me down.



Chapter 2
Deprivation
Thoughts returned first, then hearing and movement. When sight took too long, panic set in. Sitting up and frantically feeling around, I touched my eyes to convince myself they were indeed open. My fingers met cloth and memory returned. The blindfold.
I jumped when a voice startled me out of my black world.
“You kept it on. I must admit I’m more than a little surprised.”
I wanted to rip the blindfold off and throw it to the deepest, darkest corner of the universe, only Ronan’s presence stopped me. I wasn’t about to show him how weak I really was.
“That means we can move on.”
I was ready to burst with anger and frustration when he pressed something into my hands.
“Eat first. You can’t train when you can hardly stay on your feet.”
I was grateful Ronan couldn’t see the tears of relief and shame beneath the blindfold. How could I have thought Ronan to be so cruel and uncaring that he would let me starve?
After a solid meal and a few hours rest, Ronan put me to work once again. He led me in the same workout routine I had struggled through the past three weeks. Still weak from my expedition with the blindfold, I did fewer sets than I could normally manage, which only worsened my already sour mood.
“I told you I was getting worse.” I played it off as a joke.
“And I say you’re doing very well. Do you realize you just did more sets than when we first started and you have gone two days without food and have been beaten to a pulp?”
I sat for a minute turning this over in my head. He was right. How did I not see it? I was so focused on my own misery that I had fooled myself into believing it was hopeless. I compared myself to him when I should have watched my own progress. It was impossible for me to reach his level in a few short weeks when he had been doing this his entire life. With a new found determination I threw myself into every exercise Ronan laid at my feet.
“Today we start something new.” I flinched a little, the memory of what had happened last time he had introduced something new, but did as he asked. He had me sit on the ground. So far, nothing extreme. I heard his near silent footsteps circle, footsteps I swore I had never been able to hear before. He must be off his guard today, I concluded.
“You’ve been without your sight for two days. Your other senses have already begun to compensate. I’m sure you have started hearing things you couldn’t hear before.”
I thought back and realized he was right. All day I had fought annoyance when it seemed everyone was breathing right in my ear. The whining and mumbling in the room had amplified. Now, instead of annoyance, I felt a giddy happiness that I was improving.
“Don’t get ahead of yourself, Vera.” Even with the blindfold on he could tell what I was thinking. “We still have a long way to go.”
I shifted perspective, remembering the little I had learned wasn’t remotely close to what I needed to know to survive on Fallon.
“Slow your breathing.” I followed his instruction. “Tell me what you hear.”
I started with the loudest and most obvious. “There are two women arguing over a sleeping area. Someone’s tapping his foot and a man is humming to himself.”
“Now I want you to move past those and go deeper.”
I took a deep breath and tried to do as he said. “There’s someone in the corner snoring and someone’s pacing.”
“Deeper.”
The harder I tried to listen the more difficult it became to tune everything else out. Those noises only became louder and more pronounced.
A slight touch on my shoulder startled me out of my trance.
“Another thing you must learn is to always be aware of everything around you. You must not forget what is close when you are searching for something that is more distant.”
He taught me no more than that; asked no more, but every day I practiced. While he drilled me in both new and familiar exercises I listened and as I listened I discovered a different world. Instead of grays and browns there were shuffles and swishing. Instead of squares and circles there were creeks and whisperings. The world was taking on an interesting form, altogether new and unfamiliar.
Hesitantly at first, I began to explore this new world and its mysteries. Who would have thought a square metal room filled with listless criminals had mystery? I began by taking a few careful steps away from my sleeping area, listening intently to make sure I wouldn’t accidentally stop on some unsuspecting person.
Each day I ventured a few stops further out as confidence slowly returned, until one day I hit the wall. Beaming with pride, I forgot to be careful on the return trip. My foot caught on something, probably a person’s leg or arm, and I ended up sprawled across two or three very surprised, very angry prisoners.
Cursing as they pushed and shoved me off, they started a chain reaction when I stumbled into more prisoners, causing even more cursing and shoving. Mere seconds passed before the entire room was in an uproar. It was worse than meal time as punches were thrown, the sound of fist connecting with face and gut reverberating around the confines of the room. I ducked after being hit twice in the face and once in the stomach, but that was worse as feet connected with my arms, shoulders, and chest.
I couldn’t be sure with adrenaline masking the pain, but I was almost certain my face was a canvas of black and blue with a few strokes of crimson red added to the mix. The taste of copper confirmed my suspicions when I licked my lip, which had been split sometime in the struggle.
Still amidst the fray, I was flailing as much as any other person, trying to make my way to the wall. Backing up while trying to protect my face, I ran into something solid and unmoving that wasn’t the wall. Two trunk like arms wound around my waist, leaving my heart in my throat. Reflex kicked in and I threw my head back, only to connect with a large, barrel chest. I was trying everything to escape his grasp to no avail.
“Stop struggling you stupid child.” Ronan’s voice sent a wave of relief through my entire body. Relaxing, I allowed him to guide me to the wall. “Keep quiet and stay behind me.”
I wasn’t about to go anywhere. I was willing to wait it out right where we were, but Ronan had other plans. I had hold of his shirt from behind, determined not to get separated. When he took a step forward, I thought he was fighting someone off, but when he took another I was ready to throw my blindfold off and return to the relative safety of the wall.
Weighing the options, I decided it would be best to stick with Ronan. Five steps from the wall and I hadn’t felt a single blow. The noise of chaos was beginning to die down. I could just imagine Ronan staring down the prisoners and restoring order.
A few moments passed before the last sounds of the fight fell silent. Ronan’s hands pried mine from his shirt.
“Step back Vera.”
There was an intensity to his voice that countered the thought that peace had returned. With no other choice, I stepped back.
“Take your own advice, jungle scum.”
The voice was vaguely familiar, but I couldn’t put a face to it.
Ronan made no response.
“Do not challenge me. You will die.”
Still no response.
In a flash I recalled the man’s face. He was tall and built like a freighter. Ronan had pointed him out to me as the top dog, warning me to keep my distance.
What reason could Ronan have for challenging him? From what I had observed Ronan preferred to remain in the background. Why not just back down?
“Is she really worth your life?”
In horror I realized he was talking about me.
“The brat needs to learn her place.”
He must have been one of the men I tripped over. It was the only plausible explanation for the situation.
“A Raptor defends his tribe to the end.” He gave no other reply.
Deafening silence held the crowd in its sway. I strained to hear any sound from the two facing off. Only the rasp of labored breathing met my ears. I knew it couldn’t be Ronan; he would never allow himself to show even the slightest amount of weakness. It had to be the other man, Lorin I think his name was. The tension was palpable as seconds passed. Only the sound of a sharp intake of breath announced the attack. The pounding of two solid bodies colliding sent a shock wave through the room. Amidst the grunts, groans, and cursing, I was unable to figure out what was happening or who was winning. Minutes seemed like hours as breathing became harsh and, the sounds of the fight becoming fewer and less frequent.
When only silence filled the air, I pushed my way past the crowd that had gathered in front of me. A little twinge of fear crept in, twisting knots in my stomach.
“Ronan?”
There was only one man left standing. The body I nearly stepped on was evidence of that. Footsteps moved loser as the last man standing approached.
“Ronan?” I could hear the panic creeping into my voice.
The strong hand that gripped my shoulder had me ready to fight.
“Time to train.”
Ronan’s arm wrapped around my shoulders protectively and I sagged against him in relief.
“You bit off more than you could chew. Never lose focus like that again. Next time it may very well kill you.”
“I don’t think you need to worry about that. I’ll just stay away from that side of the room.”
“You’re going back there tomorrow, Vera. You just won’t make the same mistake twice.”
My jaw dropped and I had to remind myself to close it before I caught a fly.
“I thought you said--”
“I said no to bite off more than you can chew. You thought because you had made it across safely you make it back safely. You lost concentration which is where you went wrong. Keep your concentration and you’ll be fine.”
I never knew what to expect when Ronan pulled out another one of his lessons.
“Today we start a new conditioning exercise. It will not only strengthen your muscle but your senses.”
Curious, I followed his instructions as he guided me through a series of movements.
“Do you remember everything?”
I nodded, sure I would be able to repeat every move in the correct order.
“Good. Now block me.”
Ronan’s hand slammed into my gut before I had a chance to raise my arms, knocking the wind out me and leaving me planted on my backside.
“You weren’t ready.”
I was sure my face was crimson with anger.
“You didn’t give me a chance.”
Grabbing my arm, Ronan hauled me to my feet.
“No enemy would give you a chance, so why should I? Again. This time use all your senses, not just the movements I taught you.”
Without warning his fist flew forward, but this time I heard his feet move as his weight shifted. Throwing my left arm down, I blocked the blow. Just in time I remembered the second movement. Bringing my right arm up, I blocked his second blow. With the force he was putting behind those punches I was sure I would have ended up out cold on the ground with a black eye for my trouble.
I wondered how I ended up in that exact position. A lump was forming where my head met the hard, iron floor.
“You lost concentration again. A man’s not going to stop with one or two blows. Again.”
Once more I blocked his two beginning blows and managed to leap over his attempt to sweep my legs out from under me. I got through five more motions before landing on the floor yet again.
“Up.”
He moved and I countered with the first block, only this time it didn’t black. The blow had been to my face, not the gut as it had every time before.
The floor was fast becoming a little too familiar for my taste. I reached up and wiped away, what I assumed was blood, from my nose.
“You--”
“I know, I know!” Ronan stood silent as I interjected. “I should have anticipated. Fighting isn’t like dancing; the steps are different every time.”
“You’re learning.” There was a smile in his voice.
“Again,” I insisted, picking myself back up. If this was going to help, I wanted to learn it as quickly as I could. I was waiting for a blow that wasn’t coming.
“We’re done for today. Take a break and rest up.”
“Rest? So when I don’t want to keep going, you make me and when I want to, you tell me to rest?”
“I figured you’d been beaten up enough for one day. Everyone has a limit, even me.”
Ronan walked away, leaving me standing alone.
If he didn’t want to train, fine. I’d do it on my own. I went through my listening exercised, strength and endurance training and went over the new movements until I was convinced they were perfect.
When the food tub was brought in I didn’t stop. I didn’t stop when everyone else bedded down for the night.
Halfway through my third set of exercises Ronan showed up with a large ball of rice he offered to me.
“Vera, you have to stop.”
“I can’t. I’ll never be ready for Fallon if I don’t train.” I think the fight and the new training today had reminded me how close we were to the end of our journey.
“And you’ll be dead before we ever get there if you keep this up. Even the strongest warrior must have rest. You will accomplish more if you are fresh in the morning.”
I was still skeptical. “Promise?”
“Vera, to be honest I don’t know if you’ll ever be ready for Fallen.” My heart sunk like a rock. Why should I train if it was all useless? “I don’t know if I’ll ever be ready for Fallon. But I promise we’ll do everything we can to prepare. We won’t be completely helpless.”
Unsure what to think or believe, I ate the rice and finally allowed my body the rest it had been demanding all day.

By the end of the week I could counter most of Ronan’s attempts to throw me off in our sparring sessions. With only a month left I was becoming a little more confident.
Ronan had intensified the sparring, upping the stakes. Battered and bruised, but happy, I sat on the floor catching my breath.
“You know it’s my birthday today. I’m fifteen.” It was both a happy and sad thought. If I were home a huge party would be planned with presents, cake, family, and friends.
“Well it just so happens, I have a gift for you.”
Disbelieving, I cocked an eyebrow and held out my hand. Ronan dropped two small objects onto my palm. I discovered them to be two small balls of pliable rubber.
“What are these supposed to be?”
“Ear plugs.”
“Ear plugs? I don’t have that much of a problem sleeping through your snoring.”
“It’s part of your training.” He was exasperated with me, I could tell. “We’ve taken away sight, now it’s time to take away sound. You’ve acclimated well to life without sight so it’s time to move to the next level. Developing your sense of touch, smell, and taste is what will set you apart as a great warrior compared to a good one. If you can get to only two of your weaker senses you will be exceptional, one and you will be undefeatable.”
“You expect me to get around without my eyes and ears? How can I train if I don’t know what you want me to do?”
“We’ll find a way to communicate. You’d be surprised how well the human body can adapt when it has to. Just look at what you’ve accomplished so far.”
Ronan took the ear plugs from my hand. “Once I put them in, tell me if you can hear anything.” He positioned the rubber into my ears, stifling the sounds of the room until they were nonexistent.
“I can’t hear anything.”
I waited for some kind of acknowledgement, but none came.
“Ronan?”
Nothing.
“You have got to be kidding me! What are you gonna do, make me come and find you?”
Humiliated, I stretched out my arms, trying to feel for him. I didn’t dare pick up my feet to walk for fear of starting another fight when I inevitably stepped on someone. Instead I dragged them along the floor until I found a wall, after bumping into more than a few people who I could imagine were more than a little frustrated with me and my antics by now. I could only hope they had grown somewhat tolerant of it.
I lay against the wall, grumbling to myself about Ronan and his “training”.
For the second time on this trip, I skipped dinner, going straight to bed. When I woke up a while later I wasn’t sure how long I had slept or what time it was, but I felt rested so I decided to do some exercises.
Before long I was left with nothing to do as I waited and mentally prepared to face the breakfast mob. I couldn’t let myself get too weak before I made a try for food. I wasn’t about to make the same mistake twice.
I was dozing off when I felt a slight vibration through the floor. Footsteps from outside the room, behind me. I wasn’t sure how I knew, but I did. I must have accidentally ended up by the doors. More vibrations followed, but they came from inside. Everyone was waking up, getting ready for the doors to open.
I backed away from the door as I felt it start to edge open. I bumped into someone and knew I was a safe distance from the crew members bringing the food. They would get nervous if the criminals were too close and wouldn’t hesitate to use their weapons. A few had learned the hard way to keep their distance until the doors were closed tight.
At the front of the pack when the doors closed I was thrust forward with a force I wasn’t expecting. The momentum from a particularly violent shove threw me up against the food tub, and to my horror, up an over the side Mushy oatmeal coated my back and arms. In shock, it took hands dragging me out of the tub for me to remember I needed food. I managed to close my fists around two handfuls of oatmeal before I was thrown out of the was then pushed to the back of the crowd.
I expected the weaker people to attack me as they had the first time and they did, but they only peeled my oatmeal covered jacket off, leaving me with my small meal still clenched in my hands.
I must have been a sight with my hair and arms still coated in oatmeal. Wolfing down the few pitiful mouthfuls, I started cleaning out my hair. More than one person decided to help, eager for any extra food they could get their hands on, some more gentle than others.
I lay down to rest when I got that eerie feeling I was being watched. Shrugging it off, I readjusted and tried to sleep. I jolted from my dozing when something nudged my leg. I sat up only to have my arm grabbed by a very large, masculine hand. I tensed and the hand loosened its hold.
“Ronan, is that you?”
The hand moved from my arm to my hand. While holding my hand palm up, he began tracing something with his finger.
Y.E.S.
I sighed. Of course is was him. No one else in this place ever interacted with me.
“What do you want?” I was still a little frustrated with him, even though I knew this was for my own good.
G.O.O.D.J.O.B.
Then nothing. I lay back down, smiling. It felt good to know I had made him proud. Ronan came back and woke me from my nap with the smell of rice. After I ate he took my hand and wrote on it as he had before.
T.R.A.I.N.I.N.G.
T.R.Y.T.O.B.L.O.C.K.M.E.
Planting my feet, I tried to feel for his movements. Nothing. Hello floor, it hasn’t been long enough.
Ronan was too quiet and I suspected he was being devious and purposefully concealing his movements more than normal. Then I remembered I’d never been able to feel his approach. Maybe he was always this soft on his feet and this training was useless.
Ronan took my hand again.
Y.O.U.F.E.E.L.F.L.O.O.R.?
“I can feel vibrations through the floor when people move. Except you, of course,” I added, annoyed.
F.E.E.L.A.I.R.
“I don’t get it.” He wasn’t making any sense and the rudimentary communication didn’t help.
I.M.O.V.E.A.I.R.M.O.V.E.S.
We tried again and again and again, but no matter how hard I tried I couldn’t feel anything.
P.R.A.C.T.I.C.E.
Practice? He couldn’t be serious. How was I supposed to practice feeling air? It sounded like a load of hogwash to me.
Since I couldn’t feel his movements, I assumed he had left me to my own devices. Just about ready to tear my hair out, I decided it was wise to do a few meditation techniques Ronan had taught me. It was a lot easier to tune out sound because there was none, but I found a new nemesis: myself. My mind was going a million miles an hour and wasn’t slowing down anytime soon. The longer I sat the harder it became.
Finally giving up, I decided it was time for bed. It didn’t take long for peace to envelope my mind as I began to drift off. Then it hit me like a Jovian Prime Jack. I sat up, sure I had the answer. If I could clear my mind as I did when I slept, I might be able to get past the barrier.
I went through my nightly ritual in my head. First I pictured my room at home, instead of the hard metal room in which I now resided. I could almost feel the soft comforting folds of my down comforter surrounding me as I floated into sweet oblivion. In that moment every thought fled, striking awareness in its place. I felt everything. My heart beat strongly in my chest, my lungs expanded with each life giving breath. A few feet away a man slept soundly, I could almost see his heart beating a slow, steady rhythm as air moved in and out of his lungs.
“Ronan!” I felt a few people stir restlessly in agitation as my voice disturbed them.
“Ronan!”
It was only seconds before I felt him coming.
W.H.A.T.?
“I think I have it.” I got to my feet and faced him. “Quick, punch me before it’s gone.”
He didn’t move.
“Come on Ronan. I need to see if this works.”
He struck and I felt it. I dodged his first blow, blocked his second and third, and threw in a blow of my own that he blocked. He stopped me with a hand on my arm.
W.E.L.L.D.O.N.E.T.R.Y.A.G.A.I.N.T.O.M.O.R.R.O.W.
“What happens if it won’t come back tomorrow?” I was unsure I could replicate it so easily again, if at all.
I.T.W.I.L.L.
The next morning I didn’t even want to eat breakfast; I wanted to get straight to training, but Ronan sat me down and wouldn’t allow me to get up until I ate.
When the time came, just as I feared, it wasn’t returning. Taking a deep breath, I attempted to push the thoughts away. Remembering my steps, it came back to me in a rush just as it had last night.
After sparing for an hour, Ronan instructed me, in not so many words, to work my way around the room. Astonishing us both, I effortlessly meandered my way through the crowd to the apposite wall and back again.
It wasn’t long before I was moving about freely as if I had my sight again. Ronan must have taken this as a sign to intensify training. He started teaching me how to attack instead of just defensive strategies.
I couldn’t believe how quickly I took to it, like a bird to flying. It felt natural and effortless.

Far Sighted: Prologue, Chapters 1-15

This book is only about a third of the way done right now and this is a very rough draft. I'm in the process of editing so don't be surprised if you find spelling and grammar mistakes. Hope you like :)

Far Sighted
Book 1
Bonds

Chapter 1
Healer’s Hands

I let the wind from the valley comb through my short, auburn hair, the questions returning as they always did. Who was I?
Born, then abandoned on the steps of a monastery left me without an identity. The monks didn’t know who my parents were, or wouldn’t tell me. I had a feeling Father Michael knew more behind the story of my abandonment than he let on. He got that distant look in his eyes, haunted almost, like remembering something best forgotten.
Sighing, depressed that I had once more failed to attain the answers I craved, I turned back for the monastery. The walk improved my mood as I passed fields of wildflowers dancing in the breeze. There was no place more peaceful than this small, secluded valley.
“Adanna!”
I recognized the voice instantly and looked around for its owner. Sir Alden was atop Clover, a grey dapple war horse, cantering in this direction. He rode as a man still in his twenties, though he was well beyond fifty, his flowing white hair and beard a testament to his age.
“Get on!” He reached out a strong but weathered hand, not bothering to slow down. It must be serious.
I grabbed onto his arm as he passed and swung myself up behind him, thankful he was strong enough to lift my petite form. I held on to his waist, leaning my head against his back, amazed at how vast and muscled it still was.
“What is it Alden? Another regiment?” The kingdom was at war and there was a constant flow of dead and injured warriors and civilians to the monasteries. Ours being more secluded, we had considerably less traffic moving through, but on occasion other monasteries would send injured to us when they were filled to capacity.
“Knights, about twenty. Five critical, the rest with minor injuries. If only Father Michael were here. Those knights need his expertise.”
Father Michael, the aging abbot of our little monastery, had been a physician in his younger years before joining the church. As the wars worsened he had made it a priority to teach the other monks and some of the older orphans what he knew of medicine, but still no one was as skilled as Father Michael. He often went out to other monasteries to share his talents, which is where he was now.
“We’ll have to make due without him and just pray he returns to us soon.”
Sir Alden gave Clover his head and the old charger responded with a burst of speed.
“It’s a good thing this old boy doesn’t know how old he really is.” Clover was Sir Alden’s horse and had come with him from the battle field. Though that was seven years ago, Clover still had the vigor and aggression of a young war horse. No horse was more reliable, or more stubborn and willful, than Clover. It was this stubbornness that now carried us home.
I knew the monastery hid right around the bend in the road, nestled between two vast, snow-capped mountains. It had originally been constructed as a fortress to guard the pass, but fell into disrepair after being deserted during a hard winter. Father Michael had done what repairs he could and, with the help of other local monasteries, organized an order of monks to reside there.
Thinking of the injured knights, adrenaline began to flow before we entered the gates. Sir Alden brought Clover to a stop just inside the walls; I leaped off and hit the ground running. The main hall doors were open, revealing the knights spread out on the floor, some with arrow or sword wounds, others with broken bones. The critical lay on feathered mattresses on the far side of the hall.
“Adanna, we need your help over here!”
I quickly weaved my way through the hall toward Father Francis. Five knights lay in the corner, deathly pale. One, worse than the others, caught my attention. A pile of bloodied bandages lay at the head of the bed as if signaling imminent death. The monks had already removed his weapons, armor, and shirt. One was holding a bloodied bandage over a wound on his chest, another removing an arrow from his right leg. The knight was so far gone he didn’t move when the arrow was wrenched from his flesh.
I immediately took over, handing out orders and directing the young orphans to retrieve this or that medicine. Father Michael had carefully instructed me in the ways of medicine after he learned of my healer’s hands, or at least that’s what he called them. Under the direction of Father Michael I often took charge of the healings and I was grateful for the care he took in teaching me.
Everything went smoothly as I followed the proper steps. After working hours on the same knight, I concluded there was little else I could do. I asked the monks to see he was put in a room and monitored closely. I tried to put him out of my mind as I moved on to the others.
Not a life was lost and by sundown everyone sat down to the evening meal, exhausted but happy.
I picked at my food, wondering how the knight was holding up. He was the only one left in critical condition; all the others would make it as long as infection didn’t set in. I found it odd that I couldn’t recall what he looked like though I had worked on him for hours. Every wound I treated was a clear image in my mind, but his face refused to appear.
I felt a nudge at my elbow and looked over to see Sir Alden smiling. “Go check on your knight. Lord knows you won’t be worth beans if you don’t check him for yourself.”
Excusing myself, I made my way upstairs to the room the knight had been assigned. I groaned inwardly as I saw Father Thomas and his enormous hooked beak approaching from the opposite direction. I never understood why he chose to become a monk; he was a miserable old twig and cynical beyond belief.
“Ah, Adanna it’s you. I figured you would come to see your patient. Father Michael has sent a message that he will be detained for another month.” My groan turned into a hiss of displeasure. In Father Michael’s absence Father Thomas directed the important matters of the monastery and took full advantage of his temporary authority.
“Thank you for telling me. I’ll be sure to pass the word along.” I reached for the door handle, but stopped when he felt it necessary to interrupt my escape.
“Why must you insist on wearing men’s clothing? I thought I instructed you to dress appropriately.”
“I didn’t think you’d want me to bloody one of my precious few dresses while tending the wounded. I’m sorry if I was mistaken.”
Eyes wide with pompous indignation, Father Thomas stuttered before he managed to regain control of his tongue.
“Insolent child. I should have you removed from the monastery. If not for Father Michael’s obvious attachment you’d have been married off two years ago like all the other orphan girls who come through here. Why he likes you so much I have no idea. You can hardly be called a woman, if that‘s what you really are.” He looked me up and down, scrutinizing my figure closely, as if truly doubtful of my gender. I didn’t let his probing eyes anger me.
“If you question me being a woman, feel free to take it up with Father Michael when he returns. As for why he likes me, I like to think it’s because I’m charming.” I gave him an overly sweet smile and turned to the door, purposefully ignoring his snort of derision as he stomped down the hallway.
Opening the door, a young monk stood as I stepped inside. “He’s got a fever, but he’s been showing signs of improvement. He hasn’t drunk anything yet, nor has he wakened.”
“Thank you. I’ll watch him for a while, you can go rest.”
His eyes went wide, shocked I would suggest such a thing. “B…But you’re a woman…and…and he‘s…”
He was obviously very new to the order. “Yes I am a woman and he is an unconscious knight. What could he possibly do to me?”
It didn’t take the young monk long to see reason.
“Very well.” He brushed past me on his way out, apologizing before closing the door behind him.
I turned to the bed, trying to remember the face that was lying on the pillow. Dark brown, almost black hair, was untidily pulled back into a warrior’s tail. His face and arms had darkened with time in the sun, contrasting with his bare white chest, not well hidden behind what little chest hair he could claim. Making myself look up to his face again, I noticed a slight upward tilt of his eyes, an odd feature in this area. These were accentuated by strong cheekbones, bespeaking foreign blood flowing through his veins.
I pulled the only chair in the room up next to the bed and laid the back of my hand against his forehead. His fever raged worse than I’d thought. Wetting a cloth, I swept his sweat dampened hair from his forehead and gently set the cool cloth in its place. A sigh escaped his lips, whether from exhaustion, relief, or some fever induced dream I didn’t know.
Hours passed with no movement from the knight. I wondered what his story was. How had he come to be here? Why had he become a knight? From Sir Alden’s stories I learned not all knights were kind and chivalrous. In fact, most were the complete opposite--crude, dirty and ruthless. Most became knights for fame and glory, pillaging, plundering and raping where they pleased, all in the name of a church they claimed yet whose principles they refused to follow. Was this knight one of those men, or was he like Sir Alden?
Sir Alden had joined the knighthood for the church, for his king, and for his family. He had lost his wife and son to the war early on and spent many lonely years as a knight, fighting battle after battle for his king and surviving them all. Then, seven years ago, he had been shot in the leg with an arrow. Clover had wandered with his master strapped to his back, slowly bleeding to death, until Father Michael found them in the valley and brought them back to the monastery.
I’d been ten and remembered that day like it was yesterday. There had been a commotion out in the courtyard and I ran to my window to see what had happened. An armored man was carried into the hall leaving behind a trail of blood. I’d had nightmares for a week. Then, when the knight had somewhat recovered, Father Michael brought me down to help care for him.
Sir Alden became like the grandfather I’d never known. He’d tell me bedtime stories of his adventures as a knight, he’d teach me lessons I could never have learned from the monks, and he gave me a glimpse of what it must have been like to be part of a family.
“No….Charles…” I glanced over to find the knight tossing beneath the blankets, delirious from the fever. Who was Charles? A comrade perhaps? “Charles…” Even through his delirium I could hear the pain behind his ramblings. “The…the far…no…Charles…sighted…far…”
The thrashing increased and I began to fear he would injure himself further. I stood over the bed and tried to hold him down. “I need some help in here!” He was strong, though he had been near death a few hours ago, and it was difficult to keep him down.
One strong movement dislodged my hold on his shoulders and sent me sprawling across his chest. I winced as the breath came whooshing out of his lungs. Eyebrows knit together in pain, he groaned. Before I could get off and remove the weight from his wounds I felt his arm come around my waist, holding me in place. I didn’t struggle knowing it would only cause him more pain.
A pressure around my neck froze any movement I would have used to free myself from his grip and sent my heart racing. I looked down to see coal black eyes, endless as the night sky, glaring up at me.
“Where am I?”
“You’re safe.” I could hear the quiver of fear in my voice and didn’t doubt he could as well. “We’ve treated your wounds and given you a place to rest and recover.” I felt his hand around my neck loosen its hold, then drop to the bed.
“Who’s we?” He tried to hide the fact that he was in pain, but the strain in his voice betrayed him.
“The monks and I. You’re in a monastery.” I pushed myself up trying to lessen the weight on his wounds and I felt the arm that held me hesitate for a moment before lightening it’s grip.
The door opened before his hand had a chance to leave my waist, and none other than Father Thomas walked in. The hiss of surprise, anger, and embarrassment sent me stumbling to my feet. For the first time since I was a child I felt the flush of embarrassment heat my face.
“Out,” he commanded, red suffusing his neck and cheeks. “I’ll deal with you in a moment.”
“The boy did nothing wrong.”
I froze mid-stride. Boy? I turned only to find Father Thomas glaring and pointing his finger in the direction of the door. Silently obeying his order, I left the room. Pulling the door shut, I sat down against the wall to await Father Thomas’s inevitable verbal assault.
“…only doing his job. I, like you, am a man of God.” Their voices penetrated the walls, carrying the conversation to my ears.
“A man of God I am, but you most certainly are not. What god would send men out to slaughter, plunder, and rape the innocent?” His voice carried an air of superiority.
“I do not blame you for assuming the worst, but I promise I am not such a knight. I serve only my king and God.”
“Ha! A fraud. The true king has been in his grave seventeen years, his throne stolen by a ruthless pagan. Either you serve a barbarian king or a dead one.”
“The king may be dead, but his legacy and people live on. As long as this is true, I will continue to serve.” Father Thomas must not have known what to say to this, the silence was deafening.
I jumped to my feat and crossed the hallway when I heard footsteps approaching the door. Father Thomas emerged from the room in a huff.
“You, come with me.”
I was led to a near empty storage closet, Father Thomas holding the door open for me to enter. He followed me in and closed the door behind, ensuring our privacy. I backed up against the shelves of pickled beets, preparing myself for the onslaught.
“What in heaven’s name do you think you were doing?” He made sure to keep his voice at a low hiss. “This is a house of God.”
I felt my jaw drop. Did he really think I would do something like that?
“Father Thomas,” I didn’t bother to keep my voice down. “Nothing happened. He woke up disoriented…”
“That doesn’t explain how you two ended up lying together in the same bed.”
“He was just taken from the battle field, he was confused. When he saw me he must have thought I was a threat. He grabbed me and then you walked in assuming the worst. He thought I was a boy for goodness sake; you heard him.”
“You are banned from his room. You will stay away from all of the knights until they leave. I will be having a word with Father Michael about this when he returns. It’s past time you were married off…” Father Thomas paused as if struck with sudden inspiration. Shaking his head, coming back to reality he turned back to me. “You may go, but remember what I’ve said.”
I left with a feeling of dread weighing on my heart. Father Thomas was up to something and it didn’t bode well for me, I was sure.
Sir Alden approached me in the courtyard early the next morning. “I hear your knight is healing up quite fast.”
“He’s much stronger than he should be with so many wounds. He almost dies then a few hours later he almost breaks my neck. I’ve never seen anyone heal so quickly. He was still in a lot of pain, but conscious and alert.” It was a puzzle my mind couldn’t piece together.
Sensing my dilemma, Sir Alden ruffled my hair. “Maybe you should take Clover out. He’s been penned up the whole night and you know he gets antsy when he misses his morning run. He’s even worse than usual with all the knight’s stallions penned up next to him. He needs to do something with that pent up energy, and it’ll help you think; it always helped me.”
“Maybe you’re right.” I leaned down and pecked Sir Alden on the cheek. “Thank you. You always know what to say.”
The stable was a modest but strong stone structure built just to the side of the gate. Upon entering, a crash sounded from one of the stalls. Two middle aged monks came running out, fear foremost in their eyes. They had to be new working in the stables if they didn’t know to leave Clover to Sir Alden or me.
“Hey, didn’t Father John warn you about Clover?”
The younger of the two stopped, turning back. “We know to stay away from Clover, but nobody warned us about Ares.”
Ares? The monks forgotten, I entered the stable to investigate this Ares. It wasn’t difficult to pinpoint his stall; it was the one being smashed to bits. Thankfully the stalls on either side had been emptied of their occupants. I entered from the stall on the right and opened the connecting window. The wooden boards went flying and I ducked as they flew against the far wall. A gaping hole was left where the wall had stood only moments before and through the absent wall I saw polished black hooves and a flaming red coat.
“Hey there boy,” I crooned. He responded by completely knocking away the stall door. “Oh no you don’t.” Dodging the splintered wood blocking the opening of the stall, I grabbed on to Ares’ mane and flung myself onto his back as he made his escape.
“Get out of the way!” I didn’t know if anyone was close or not, but I wasn’t about to take a chance.
“Open the gate!” I knew he’d run for freedom, eliminating any threat to the monastery and the people within.
Someone complied, flinging the gate wide. Ares galloped for the opening, bucking and tossing his head, trying to dislodge me. I wasn’t in a position to do anything but cling to his neck and attempt to calm him. Whispering soft and encouraging words in his ear, I waited for him to tire. It ended sooner than I had anticipated. Ares slowed to a walk and then came to a stop. I maintained my grip, ready for another fit, but it never came. Craning his neck back, Ares looked me straight in the eye. There was no animosity or rage in his gaze, only a calm acceptance.
“You finally ready to go back?” An answering snort almost made me think he could understand me. “You’re just like Clover, nothing but a big baby. You throw a tantrum when you don’t get what you want and then pretend nothing happened when the tantrum doesn‘t work.”
Ares hadn’t strayed too far from the monastery and we were soon back at the gates. The monks had all gathered at the stable to view the damage. A voice rose above the din. “Let me go, I need to see my horse.” A shrill whistle pierced the air.
Responding to his master‘s summons, Ares trotted into the crowd which immediately parted, not wanting to become a victim of the wild horse. There was no mistaking the voice of his master and I was about ready to leap off the horse and haul the knight back to his bed. What did he think he was doing out of bed after only a day of recovery? He’d kill himself.
The widening path revealed two monks supporting the knight five yards in front of Ares. From the look in their eyes, they were probably considering making a break for it and leaving the knight to fend off the horse himself.
“Sir William, please, you must return to your room,” one of them pleaded, obviously more worried about his own safety.
Sir William paused at the sight of me atop his charger.
“Ares, come.” Sir William held out a hand, beckoning. Ares happily complied, walking up and nuzzling his master’s hand. I took the opportunity to dismount.
“I’ve told you a thousand times to stay out of trouble.”
If I hadn’t seen Clover look guilty when Sir Alden chastised him, I wouldn’t have believed it possible. Ares lowered his head and peaked up at Sir William through his mane.
“Get back to your stall. Go on, get.” Ares turned around, sulking and dragging his feet like a child.
“Sir William?” the monks inquired, waiting to take him back to the room. Our eyes met for an instant and I thought I saw admiration in the depths of his stare; or perhaps I had only imagined it. He nodded and allowed the monks to steer him back towards the main building, the crowd disappearing with him.
“That was one exciting spectacle.” Sir Alden squeezed my shoulders in greeting. “Just don’t do that again.”
I laughed at his exaggerated worry. “Ares is no different than Clover if you hadn’t noticed.”
“I had noticed. But Clover never tried to throw you. He was wrapped around that little finger of yours the moment I set you on his back. You have a way with charming the untamable and it scares me to death.”
“If it scares you to death and you knew how dangerous Clover was, why’d you let me ride him in the first place?” I raised an eyebrow, awaiting his explanation.
“Because Clover showed a liking for you long before that. Where he’d bite anyone who tried to feed him, he’d take an apple from your hand, gentle as a kitten. Where he’d kick anyone who’d walk behind him, he’d just watch you with puppy-dog eyes. He was always gentle with you so I figured it was safe enough to let you ride, as long as I rode along with you.”
“So basically Clover was safe but Ares isn’t.”
“Exactly. There’s no doubt that you can charm anything or anyone that crosses your path, but that doesn’t mean you won’t get hurt in the process, or worse.” Something in his tone of voice made me think he wasn’t talking about Ares.
Clearing his throat he chuckled lightly. “Don’t pay me any mind, I’m just a rambling old man.”
“You’re much more than that,” I assured him. “Thank you for always caring.”
“Now I think you should go chew out your knight for almost killing himself.”
“I would, but Father Thomas has forbidden me from seeing him, or any of the knights.”
Sir Alden raised an eyebrow. “Forbidden you? What reason could he possibly have to do that?”
“I’m a young woman, and apparently a temptation. Isn’t that reason enough?” I stood, ready to leave when Sir Alden stopped me with a look. “What?”
“Are you a temptation to him?” There was a twinkle in his eye, but something more serious behind it.
“Why would you care?”
“That doesn’t answer my question.” He’d picked up on my evasiveness.
“Somehow I doubt it. He thought I was a boy.” I could still feel a sense of resentment toward Sir William for his mistake. Did I really look that much like a boy?
Sir Alden laughed heartily at this news. “Serves you right for wearing men’s clothing.”
“As I recall, Sir Alden, you were the one who encouraged me to wear them. I remember you saying something to the effect that they were more comfortable to ride in.”
“Yes, but I didn’t intend you to wear them every waking moment. A lady should dress like a lady.”
“I am no lady; I’m an orphan. And besides, I ride every day and it’s inconvenient to change.”
Sir Alden chuckled lightly. “You always were practical.”
The look never left his eyes and I wondered what it was he was thinking. He didn’t give me the chance to ask. “Something makes me think he knows.”
“Knows?”
“Knows you’re a woman,” he clarified. “Something in the way he looked at you just now. That wasn’t a man looking at a boy.”
Brushing off his overactive imagination, I started walking to the stables, then turned. “That was a man surprised a boy could tame his horse.”
“Well aren’t you going to correct his misconstrued assumptions?” Sir Alden called after me.
I’d entered the stables and leaned out the door to answer. “I thought you said he already knew.” Smiling as he threw a playful glare in my direction, I ducked back into the stables to spend the rest of the day out riding with Clover.



Chapter 2
Unwilling Engagements

The ride hadn’t helped with anything. It didn’t matter which angle I looked at the situation, it didn’t make sense. There were no answers to be found, only more questions. I wanted to scream; there was no end to this.
“What does it mean Clover?” Of course no answer came. What had I expected?
We had nearly made it back to the monastery as darkness fell over the mountains. Entering the gates, I felt an ominous cloud envelope my heart. Something wasn’t right.
“Ah, Adanna, you’ve finally returned.”
I started at the voice from the shadows. Father Thomas slithered from the darkness, an evil smirk distorting his features.
“Father Thomas,” I acknowledged carefully.
“I would like you to stable Clover and meet me in the great hall.”
No other words were spoken and before I could ask why, he left. With no other choice than to do as he said, I complied. The great hall was dark, only a single candle lighting the far corner. Father Thomas stood with his back to me, almost completely in shadow just beyond the light of the candle.
“Come forward, Adanna.”
A voice in the back of my head warned me not to heed his command, but another argued that nothing could happen to me in a house of God. I was stepping forward before I had fully decided to do so and soon found myself standing right behind Father Thomas. Turning around to face me, terror I had never known consumed my every thought.
“There is someone I would like you to meet, Adanna. He is among the knights you saved and he would like to show his gratitude.”
I felt more than heard someone approaching from behind. A gasp escaped my lips when I turned to find a gruesome giant towering over me.
“Adanna, this is Sir Damon.” A chill ran down my spine. “To show his gratitude he has offered to take you away from here and give you a home of your own.”
The room spun, my mind reeling with disbelief. It couldn’t be. “No…” It was only a whisper, but in the silence of the hall I was sure they heard me.
“What?” Father Thomas gripped my arm, squeezing harder than necessary.
“No,” I repeated, this time louder. “I’m sorry but I wish to remain here.” I wasn’t really sorry, but I knew being polite might just get me out of this mess.
“You have no right to refuse. While Father Michael is away I see to all the major affairs of this monastery, including the affairs of the orphans who reside here. You will marry Sir Damon, and you will leave with him.”
Another pair of hands enclosed my arms, larger and rougher than Father Thomas’s. Heat from the man’s breath chilled my very soul as he whispered into my ear from behind.
“I could give you everything you ever wanted.” One of his filthy hands came around my waist and I felt my insides clutch in panic.
I couldn’t look to Father Thomas for help, he was turning a blind eye to the knight’s actions.
“No!” I tried to wrench myself from Sir Damon’s grip, but years on the battle field provided him a strength I had no hope of overcoming.
“I think we can begin the ceremony.” Sir Damon’s calloused voice echoed in the darkness of the hall.
“As you wish.”
What? No, this wasn’t happenning. I threw my elbow back into Sir Damon’s stomach, trying in vain to free myself. My struggles only seemed to please him. Choking darkness blanketed my sight as Sir Damon’s arms tightened painfully.
“We are…” Father Thomas had begun the marriage ceremony. Please no, was all I could think, helpless to save myself. “…in the sight of God…”
The doors of the hall crashed open, the dark sillouhette of a man outlined against the moonlight.
“God is not here. His presence ceased to dwell in this place the moment the devil was allowed entrance.” Anger rolled from the man in torrents, giving him the appearance of a destroying angel. “Did you honestly think I would stand by while you sealed Adanna’s doom?”
“Sir Alden.” Fear radiated from Father Thomas as he recognized the voice behind the shadow. The rasp of a sword being released from its sheath sent the monk stumbling back.
“Don’t tell me you’re afraid of an old man.” Sir Damon sneered at the cowering monk.
The only way I avoided hitting my head was the slight tightening of Sir Damon’s grip before he threw me to the ground. Another sword was loosed from its sheath and Sir Damon faced Sir Alden, murder blazing in his eyes.
“Adanna, I want you to leave.” I stared at Sir Alden, frozen in place, not wanting to desert him.
“Adanna!”
Starting, I pushed myself up on my knees, ready to obey.
“I don’t think so.” Sir Damon countered his command, stepping between me and my escape. “Our wedding is in progress, you see, and it would be inconvenient for the bride to leave.”
“There will be no wedding tonight.” Sir Alden raised his sword to emphasize his point. “You will have to do it over my cold, dead corpse.”
Sir Damon only smiled.
“Then what are we waiting for?” Damon’s sword came up, muscles tense and ready for the fight.
“Let’s see how the sappling holds up against the storm.” Sir Alden’s confidence gave me hope. He was aging, but I was sure he could win.
The clash of steel against steel was overpowered by the crash of thunder and the accompanying flash of lightning. My eyes strayed from the fight for a mere second, to stare at a dark shape in the lighted courtyard. I blinked, but the wolf continued to stare, pale-white eyes piercing through the night. The courtyard went dark again until another flash broke the heavens.
It was gone.
Sound returned to my ears and my attention came back to Sir Alden, the wolf forgotten. Sir Damon had been pushed back, retreating under Sir Alden’s unwavering blows.
“Adanna, go!”
Without hesitation I jumped to my feet and ran for the open door. Pulse pounding in my ears, I ran for the only help I knew would come. In the darkness it was hard to find the right door, but familiarity gave me the direction I needed. Shuffling behind the door told me he was awake and knew something wasn’t right. Finding the latch, I threw the door wide and stepped inside.
“Alden needs your help.” At the sound of his master’s name, Clover’s ears pricked up.
“Go!” I shouted, jumping on his back and slapping his rump with my hand. Whinnying, Clover left the stable at a dead gallop, sensing my distress. I didn’t have to direct the charger, some sixth sense told him where his master fought for his life. Ducking beneath the doorway, I searched for a sign that Sir Alden was still fighting. Through the darkness came the huff of labored breathing and grunts of effort.
Nothing was visible so I called out Alden’s name. Not a second later I felt a hand on my leg. “Help me up, Adanna.”
Sighing in relief I used all my strength to haul Sir Alden up behind me. Without direction Clover left the hall.
“Are you alright?” I looked back, knowing I couldn’t see any wounds if he had any. He was still panting, unable to catch his breath.
“He got me in the arm. But I think he’ll be out of commission for a few days at least.”
“I need to see that arm.”
“No, we need to get you out of here, it’s not safe anymore.”
“And where would I go? This is my home.”
“I have an idea, but it’s risky and possibly more dangerous.”
“I’m not going Alden, no brutish knight is going to bully me into leaving.” I set my jaw, refusing to give in.
“Don’t make me force you, Adanna.” He reached around me and held to Clover’s mane. “Clover take us back.”
“Back?” I asked in alarm. Why would we go back? “No, I’m not…” A sharp pain at the base of my neck preceded the black void of unconsciousness.

“…take him with you?” Voices had penetrated the haze, but my limbs still wouldn’t move. “I know you are in no condition to travel, but you’re the only one I can trust.”
“I’m sorry Sir Alden, I wish I could help you, but I have neither the time nor resources to care for a child. This life is rough, as you well know, and no place for a boy.”
I couldn’t tell who he was speaking to, but the voice sounded familiar. Whoever it was, Sir Alden made him think I was a boy and was trying to convince him to take me along with him. How was this any different than what Father Thomas had done?
“He would not hinder your journey, I swear it. I have taught him the ways of the knight and he is efficient with a bow as well as a short sword.”
“Ares cannot carry two and the supplies we need.”
Sir William. I couldn’t believe Sir Alden was asking him to leave in his condition.
“The boy will ride Clover. He is an old horse, but still capable and strong.”
Sir William seemed to have run out of excuses and a short silence ensued. A long sigh declared Sir William’s surrender. “I’ll help you take him to the horse.”
My eyes were blurry, but they were finally open. Limbs heavy, I attempted to rise from the bed I was lying on. “I…I’m not going.”
Both knights looked in my direction, surprise etched on their faces.
“Now Adan, don’t be a fool.” Sir Alden was silently imploring me not to blow the story he had concocted.
“I won’t… I won‘t go.” Sir William had gotten to his feet, taken a rope from the hook on the wall, tied my hands and thrown me over his shoulder before I had a chance to resist.
Impossible. There was no way he could recover from his wounds so quickly.
Sir Alden must have been thinking the same thing, but didn’t say anything.
“I’ll get some food from the kitchens.” Leaving me to Sir William, Alden turned down the right corridor while we veered left.
“Call out and I’ll gag you.”
The warning fell on deaf ears.
“Let me g…” Sir William flipped me off his shoulder and propelled me against the wall with more force than necessary. Pulling a long piece of cloth from a pocket, he tied it around my mouth, silencing my protests.
“Don’t push me, boy. I have very little patience.”
Returned to my place on his shoulder, I continued my struggles, refusing to give up so easily. Exiting the hall, Sir William whistled for Ares. A crash sounded in the stables and a moment later Ares trotted up and nuzzled his master’s outstretched hand.
“Wait here.”
We approached Clover, who was on alert twenty feet away. Sir William still had me over his shoulder, the hardened muscle cutting painfully into my lower stomach. Lowering me to the ground much gentler than he had before, he directed my attention to Clover.
“Tell your beast to stay or we might end up with a fight on our hands,“ he commanded, removing the gag. When I hesitated, he tried a different tactic.
“Clover is a much older stallion than Ares; he‘s sure to get hurt if they fight.”
“Clover.” Clover’s attention was still fixed on the other stallion.
“Clover,” I tried again. This time his eyes met mine. “Stay.”
He didn’t move a muscle, but continued to stare at Ares in challenge. “Happy?”
“Very,” he grunted as he lifted my weight onto Clover’s back. Sir Alden must have saddled Clover before speaking to Sir William, for I now sat in my riding saddle.
From the same pocket he had taken the cloth that now hung loosely around my neck, Sir William removed three short ropes. The purpose of the rope was clear and he bent to tie my foot to the stirrup. On impulse I kicked out, knocking him in the chest and propelling myself off Clover’s back. The breath rushed out of my lungs as my back hit stone. Knowing I had little time to spare I struggled to my feet and dashed into the nearest building, the stables.
Crouching down inside an occupied stall, I attempted to loosen the knot in the ropes holding my wrists. If I had my hands free I might stand a chance against the injured knight, though he didn’t appear injured any longer.
Sir William‘s voice echoed in the near empty stable. “There’s nowhere to run Adan. Why don’t you face it? You’re coming with me and that’s the end of it.”
I wasn’t convinced.
Frustrated his plan had failed, Sir William stormed through the stable, opening each stall and slamming it shut when it didn’t procure his quarry.
“If Sir Alden hadn’t known my father, you’d be strapped, unconscious to the horse, bleeding from the head.”
He was drawing nearer and I still hadn’t managed to free my hands, or even loosen the knot. A pregnant silence left me straining to hear his movements.
“Having trouble?”
Raising my head, I found Sir William staring down at me from outside the stall, his arms resting atop the stall door. It creaked as he opened it and led the horse out.
“Why don’t I give you a hand?” Back over his shoulder, I threw a kick. One overly large hand imprisoned my rebellious leg.
“Sorry, but I plan on having children in the future and as much as I admire your courage I’m not about to let you change that.”
This time my struggles availed me nothing and I ended up tied to Clover’s back before Sir Alden made his appearance. Carrying bags filled with food and medical supplies, he stopped when he saw my restraints. “Are those necessary?”
“That boy is more trouble than he’s worth.”
Alden noted the way Sir William was massaging his chest where I had kicked him. “Adan, you didn’t.”
Refusing to answer, I turned away.
“I’m sorry, I hope you’re not hurt.”
Why’d Sir Alden have to take the blame for me? Even when forcing me to leave, he took care of me. Unbidden, guilt washed over me.
“I’ll survive. But we should be going.”
Sir Alden nodded, eyes glistening with tears. I couldn’t believe it, Sir Alden never cried.
“Take care of yourself Adan.” He didn’t even look me in the eye.
Panic released my voice as he turned to leave.
“Wait!” Pausing, he looked back. “Please.” I sighed in relief as he approached. Somewhere in the back of my mind I noticed Sir William move away to give us time to say farewell.
Though I knew it would do no good, I had to try one more time. “Don’t make me do this.”
“Adanna, you know as well as I that you can’t stay here. Your destiny lies with Sir William. You would have ended up with him one way or another.”
“What are you talking about?” Sir Alden wasn’t making any sense. He’d never spoken of destiny or fate in all the years I had known him.
“You’ll know in time. Live well, Adanna, and try not to remember me as your enemy.”
His last words broke my resolve to make him tell me the truth. A single tear streamed down my face.
“You have never been my enemy, Alden. You’re the closest thing to a father I have ever known.”
“We have to go. Now!” Sir William rode up on Ares and grabbed Clover’s reigns.
Resisting the stranger’s control, Clover reared. “Go Clover. Adan is your master now.”
A roar of rage echoed in the night, a sign that the peace would shatter once more. The doors to the great hall were flung wide, the towering form of Sir Damon filling the frame.
“Adan!”
I didn’t need any more encouragement.
“Go Clover!” Fear kept me from resisting and shame kept me from looking back.


Chapter 3
Weathering the Storm
Miles passed us by, one running into the next. I trusted Sir William and Ares to know the way and allowed my thoughts to wander. Thrust into a precarious situation left me with few options. My home was stolen from me, my future uncertain, balanced on the edge of a blade.
Sir Alden spoke of destiny, but how was it possible to know your destiny? My path was with Sir William, my life now entangled with his. Though I had never believed in fate I could feel it’s suffocating vines pulling me in a direction I feared to tread. Change was something I was unaccustomed to and thus feared.
A clap of thunder jerked me from my thoughts, sending an electric shock through my nerves. My heart pounding, I looked quickly to see if Sir William saw me jump; he was looking the other way. Praying the thunder would not return, I focused my attention on suppressing my fear.
The scent of water was in the air, signaling the rapid approach of a downpour.
“We should find shelter, it’s going to rain.” He voiced my thoughts and I wondered at his sensitivity. Not many were as attuned to their surroundings as I.
It didn’t take long to find a suitable cave to weather out the coming storm. The mountains held countless caves, many of which I explored as a child.
Sir William untied my hands and feet from the saddle, allowing me to dismount and see to Clover. He went about preparing camp, what little there was, and settled into his blankets to sleep. With no other choice but to follow suit, I curled up and tried, in vain, to fall asleep, my stomach rumbling its discontent at having skipped supper.
Sometime in the early morning a deafening crash sent me reeling out of bed. Sir William looked up, sleep clouding his eyes. After determining everything was alright he turned over with a grunt and was back asleep in seconds.
Another crash nearly stopped my heart, the fear from long ago returning. Not again, please not again.
I couldn’t explain where the terror came from, or why I feared it; I only knew it had always been with me.
Flashes of a memory, long buried, assaulted my consciousness. Sights, sounds, smells, and feelings I couldn’t remember intensified with every clap of thunder. Gripping my head as the sharp pains tore into my skull, I curled up in agony. Let it stop. Make it end.
Some semblance of thought remained and I stifled the groans escaping from between my clenched teeth. I couldn’t wake Sir William, couldn’t let him ask questions to which I had no answers.
Clover whinnied in worry, coming closer to prod my side. Reaching up a quivering hand I did everything possible to calm him, but my fear only fueled his uneasiness. Sidestepping and shifting his weight from foot to foot, Clover snorted in distress.
“Calm down boy.” It was only a pained whisper, but it seemed to help. He calmed--until a bolt of lightning split the sky.
The pain had me writhing on the floor while Clover reared and bolted for the cave opening. My eyes followed his progress and came to rest on a pair of gleaming white orbs, piercing through the darkness like the moon through clouds. A howl sounded in the night, a call to return. But return to where or to whom?
I had no recollection of what transpired over the next two hours, being enveloped in a world of torture. When the fevered illusions dissipated I found Clover securely tied to a fallen tree outside the cave, Ares calmly grazing on the rain soaked grass and Sir William gone.
I fingered my temple, attempting to ease the pounding headache that always followed such episodes. The rays of the early morning sun kept me in the shadows of the cave, reluctant to worsen my already unbearable headache.
“Drink this.” A cup was thrust into my hands and I looked up to see Sir William bending over me. I hadn’t even heard his approach.
“It’ll help with your headache.”
I took the cup and sipped at the heated liquid. It tasted like wild berry and peppermint. Where he’d gotten the ingredients for the tea, I had no idea and didn’t really care as long as it helped.
Relieved Sir William hadn’t ask questions about last night, I packed up my bedding and readied Clover for the long journey ahead. I stuffed the last of my bedding into the saddle bag and put my foot in the stirrup, ready to mount when Sir William‘s voice stopped me.
“Wait Adan.”
I looked up to find Sir William releasing his sword from it’s sheath. Cringing back, I remembered Father Thomas’ initial reaction to my episodes and wondered if Sir William was superstitious. Until Father Michael had assured Father Thomas and the other monks I was not possessed, they had feared and scorned me. What would happen if Sir William was the same? He was a knight, not a monk.
“Take out your sword.”
I fumbled to grab the short sword Sir Alden had given me from it’s place on Clover’s saddle. As soon as I freed it from the sheath Sir William charged. Reflex brought my sword up to block his blow before my mind could register what was happening. His superior strength propelled me to the ground, fighting to keep his blade from my throat.
Was he trying to kill me? But why?
Panic imbued me with strength I wouldn’t normally possess. I threw Sir William off, giving myself time to get to my knees before the onslaught continued. I blocked his second blow, but this time he gripped a dagger in his left hand. Taking a chance, I caught his wrist in my right hand, leaving my left on the sword.
“Sir Alden has taught you well.” Sir William twisted his left hand, escaping from my hold and pressed the blade to my throat. “But you are still just a boy. Yield.”
I obeyed, dropping my sword, but threw up my fist as he removed the dagger from my neck. Staggering backwards, he put a hand to his jaw in shock. I wasn’t about to give up without a fight. What did I have to lose anyway if it was my life he wanted?
“You shouldn’t have let your guard down. That’s the first lesson Sir Alden taught me and it’s the one you’ve obviously forgotten.” My mouth was dry from fear and it was a struggle to say those few words. I pushed myself to my feet and planted, ready for his next attack.
“The fight has ended; you yielded.”
I swallowed, hoping to rid myself of the croak in my voice.
“No, I strategized. I never said I yielded. There are no rules when it comes to survival.” I was fighting hard to control the shaking in my voice and hands. If he knew how much I was afraid he’d regain the advantage.
Red flooded his face. Anger, I presumed, from losing to a mere boy. He threw his sword back into its sheath and strapped it to Ares’ saddle.
“We’re leaving.” He mounted and impatiently waited for me to do the same.
I stood for a moment in shock. If he hadn’t planned on killing me then why draw a sword against me?
Belatedly returning my sword to its place, I pulled myself into the saddle. “I think I made him mad,” I confided to Clover. He snorted in agreement, throwing his head in the air before trotting after Ares.
Well, he must not have wanted to kill me since I was still alive. Puzzling over his motives, I stared blankly at his back.
Sir William remained silent for most of the day, content to sit and stare into the distance. Where his thoughts rested, I had no idea, nor did I believe I wanted to know.
The mountains were thinning and we were entering the foothills when Sir William finally spoke.
“How’s your head?”
Confused I answered. “Fine.” It wasn’t injured in our skirmish so why would he ask?
“Looks like you had a rough time of it last night. Does it happen often?” He never turned to look at me when he spoke so I couldn’t read the motive behind his inquiry.
Breath caught in my chest, I tried to collect myself. The best answer was the truth, as much of it as I dared reveal. “It happens every time there’s a storm. I don’t know why; it’s been happening ever since I was a child.”
“If we encounter anyone on the roads, you’re my squire.”
The abrupt change threw me off for a moment. I managed to nod my head in understanding, though he couldn’t see with his back to me.
“You’re not to leave my side. If I tell you to do something, you do it.”
The sun was sinking, the day nearly gone. We encountered few travelers on the road, which was just fine with me. It was difficult enough dealing with Sir William. He’d been silent, as if deep in thought or perhaps brooding over his rotten luck at being stuck with me.
I’d been trying to figure him out. Why had he drawn his sword against me if not to kill me? Was it a test of my abilities? Was it an attempt to scare me or cement his dominant position? I could think of no other plausible reasons. He didn’t draw to kill or drive me away because I was still here.
Observing him throughout the day revealed little of his character. That, combined with what I had learned about him from his time at the monastery gave me little more than a miniscule picture of the kind of man he was.
Riding tall and straight gave him an air of nobility. Had he been a noble’s son, entering the knighthood for his family’s honor and prestige? Perhaps his family was fallen nobility, having once served the king. I had overheard him proclaim his continued loyalty to the true king, unafraid and proud.
Sir Alden had known Sir William’s father, which meant he must have also known the son to some degree. He’d sent me with the younger knight, indicating Sir William was a man to be trusted. What I’d seen and heard from him--or more accurately, not seen or heard--confirmed this. He lacked the vulgar mouth, attitude of superiority, and foul odor of a common knight. But, like any common knight, he was dangerous; and if I judged correctly, more dangerous than any common knight. Of this I was sure: Sir William had only shown me a tenth of what he was capable. Dangerous didn’t begin to describe him.
I involuntarily gagged when a choking stench wafted my direction. Eyes watering from the overwhelming odor, I pulled back on the reigns.
Sir William did the same when he realized I was no longer following. “What’s wrong?”
Could he not smell it? It was so overpowering I could taste it in the air. I coughed trying to rid myself of the burning scent.
Sir William turned Ares around, sidling up beside Clover a fiery urgency blazing in his eyes. “We have to get moving.”
There was something in his tone that forbade argument. Collecting myself, I tried to ignore the burning in my nose as we left the area behind. The stench only grew worse.
Sir William pushed Ares to a full gallop, Clover easily matching him.
Somewhere in the back of my mind I wondered what was so dangerous that we had to flee, but I didn‘t think it wise to stop and ask.
Finally the smell began to weaken then dissipate altogether. Making sure he slowed before the horses were fully spent, Sir William was on alert. I wasn’t sure what it was he thought might be a danger to us, but I followed his lead, nerves beginning to take hold.
The mountains were quickly disappearing, melting into a vast, dark forest. Unfamiliar sounds, smells, and sights stirred my senses.
Darkness was quickly descending with the setting of the sun, burnishing the trees orange, red, then black. Sir William was still pushing Ares and I wasn’t sure if he planned to stop for the night. Twilight faded to evening, evening to night, and night to early morning before he deemed it safe to rest. Only a small sliver of the moon could be seen through the canopy of pine branches blanketing the sky.
I rolled out my sleeping mat at the foot of a gigantic pine. Exhausted, I laid down expecting to drop into a dreamless sleep, but sleep never found me. I lay awake, tense and ill at ease.
“Sleep, Adan. We leave at dawn.” Sir William’s voice was only a whisper in the wind, but firm and commanding.
Dawn was only a couple hours away and I knew I needed to sleep, but something kept my eyes open and my senses alert. Every whisper of the wind, every rustle in the underbrush pulled me from my restless slumber.
I didn’t know what it was that sent me stumbling to my feet, but Sir William must have heard it too. One moment he was sound asleep, snoring softly, and the next he was packing up his sleeping mat and yelling at me to do the same.
“What’s going on?” We were riding fast, deeper into the forest.
Pulling back on his reigns to bring Ares to Clover’s side, he whispered, “We’re being followed.”
“Followed?” I looked into the trees, searching for some sign of pursuit.
He put a finger to his lips. “There’s an invading army,” he continued to whisper. “They must have crossed our trail sent a party after us.”
How did he know that? I‘d seen no evidence of an army. “But why would they bother? We’re inconsequential to an invading army. They don’t even know who we are.”
“A good tracker can tell the difference between farm horse tracks and war horse tracks. They know we have two chargers and they’re following us, hoping we’ll lead them to our army.”
“So what do we do?”
“Run and hope we don’t get caught.” He spurred Ares ahead, taking the lead.
The trees were endless. They concealed our movements from those tracking us, but they also hid our pursuers from sight. I didn’t know which was worse, being able to see them or not. If I could see them, then at least I’d know what we were dealing with, but that would leave us in their sights and in trouble. In the end, there was nothing to do but follow Sir William and trust his judgment.
As the day wore on, Sir William became more and more tense. The trees were thinning, our cover disappearing. The sun had risen and was now beginning its descent.
A break in the trees made both Sir William and I hesitate. The forest ended abruptly, prairie grasses stretching as far as the eye could see.
“Listen closely Adan. I’m going to plant a false trail; I want you to ride west as hard and fast as you can. I’ll catch up to you in a couple days.”
A couple days? He was leaving me alone for two whole days?
“But…”
“Don’t worry Adan, nothing’s going to happen. If you run into anyone tell them you’re traveling to Bourdaine to meet your father.”
I was frozen to the spot, panicking. I’d never been out on my own before.
“Go!” Coming up behind Clover, Sir William slapped his rump and sent him off. Looking back I saw Sir William disappearing into the trees.
I took a steadying breath. He said he’d find me. He said he’d find me. I had to keep repeating it to myself to keep from turning back.
The sun had gone down hours ago and still I continued on, too afraid to stop. Though there was no moon tonight, the stars lighted my way.
Dawn was approaching, the horizon grey against the black sky. The fear had dissipated in the wake of exhaustion. My head and eyes drooped, though I willed myself to stay awake and alert. My arms felt heavy and soon the reigns dropped to the saddle.
I jerked awake. The sun was peaking over the horizon, bathing me in it’s amber glow. I rubbed the sleep from my eyes and looked around, wondering what woke me.
In the silence my ears picked up the distant sound of horses. Glancing back, the light of the sun hid anything I might have been able to see. I squinted, trying to see past the blinding rays.
It couldn’t be Sir William, there was more than one horse. How I knew, I couldn’t say.
They were coming up fast and I tried to slow my racing heart, sleep forgotten. I squared my shoulders, replaying my alibi in my head. Looking back, I found them within my sights. Four, sleek chestnut horses supporting four rough looking men, rode up at a full gallop.
Clover reared in aggravation when I pulled up on the reigns, shaking his head and biting at the bit.
Reigning in, the leader spoke. “Quite the slip you gave us.”
I swallowed the lump in my throat. There was no doubt in my mind these were the men who were tracking us.
“I don’t know what you mean. I’m headed to Bourdaine to see my father.”
“Then why cover your trail?”
I answered politely, hoping I looked mildly surprised. “Do I look like I’ve been covering my trail?” The lie wasn’t working, they didn’t believe me.
“Don’t play games with us, boy. We’ve been tracking you for miles.” Only one man of the four spoke and I assumed he was the leader of the party. He carried himself with an air of superiority, numerous battle scars screaming of his prowess on the battlefield.
I’d been caught; I knew it and even worse, they knew it.
“Why don’t you get off the horse and come with us.” His tone made it clear this was an order, not a request.
Swallowing my fear and tightening my grip on the reigns, I prayed for luck as I kicked my heels into Clover’s side. Barreling through the smaller horses, Clover bolted for the open plain. I pressed myself against his back, making myself as small as possible. He ran full out, but where his size and strength were greater than the tracker’s horses, he was also older and slower.
Desperately urging Clover to run faster, I eyed the men coming up on our tail. A weight in my stomach told me I wasn’t going to escape.
I looked forward for only a moment when I felt an arm snake around my waist and pull. Too late I tried to kick out, only to find myself lying stomach down on the back of the lead tracker‘s horse. I flailed my arms and legs, but it was useless.
When Clover realized I was gone he whirled and charged. Knocking into one horse and sending its rider flying, he continued to charge horse after horse. He slid to a stop when he came face to face with the tracker who held me captive. Screaming his challenge to the other stallion, Clover pawed the ground. The tracker’s stallion shifted nervously, held in place by his rider.
“Tell the beast to leave.”
“Or what?”
The tracker pulled a crossbow from his saddle and aimed it at Clover’s chest. “Or he may get an arrow in the heart.”
Why did it always have to end up this way? Somehow the enemy always seemed to know my weakness for Clover.
“Go Clover.”
He looked at me, then back to the stallion, then to me again. Head lowered, he turned and walked the other direction.
The tracker turned his horse back in the direction of the forest, crossbow rested on his thigh, not quite relaxed.
I heard the pounding of hooves only a moment before Clover plowed into the horse. My head whipped back at the force of the impact and I was thrown clear of horse and man. A scream of pain echoed from the tracker’s downed stallion as its leg snapped.
Dazed but alive, I reached for Clover’s reigns to pull myself up. The thud of a crossbow firing sent my head spinning in the man’s direction. His horse, now silent, lay dead, an arrow protruding from its head.
“Bring that horse to me, or he gets an arrow in the head as well.”
Gathering the reigns in my hand I limped my way to the tracker. If I could get it to work I might still have a way out of this.
“Get on.” The tracker grabbed the reigns from my hand. “Wait.” I could see the wheels turning. He was cautious now that he knew Clover obeyed my every command. “I’ll get on first.” He put his foot in the stirrup, holding the reigns with one hand and his crossbow in the other.
As soon as Clover felt the pressure of the tracker’s foot in the stirrup he bucked, throwing the man backwards. I leapt into the saddle and urged Clover to a gallop.
What happened next was only a blur. Clover screamed in pain and fell to the ground. Then there was only black.



Chapter 4
Change
Blinking my eyes against the light, I gazed around the tent. It was bare except for the pole in the center I was tied to. Disoriented and confused, I tried to remember where I was and what happened. Obviously I was no longer in the monastery. Glimpses of forests and plains raced across my vision.
Sir William. Where was Sir William?
The memories began to return, only a trickle at first. Sir William left to leave a false trail, leading the trackers in the wrong direction. Then a steady stream. I’d traveled alone through the night. There were horses. Now a raging torrent swept every other thought from my consciousness.
Clover. His scream of pain echoed through my memory, piercing me to the core. I would have curled up from the agony if my hands and feet had not been bound.
Everything was wrong. How had it come to be like this?
I let the sobs rock my body, crying for Clover, crying for the loss of my home, crying for everything that happened since I met Sir William.
Sir William, he was the problem. Everything was fine before he came along and tore my world to pieces. My hands balled into fists as tears of anger coursed down my cheeks. Pulling against the ropes holding me captive, my wrists and ankles grew raw and bloody, but still I continued to struggle.
“It’s all your fault!”
I don’t know how long I ranted and screamed, letting anger numb the tortuous pain. I didn’t care if everyone knew I was a woman. Maybe if they knew it would all end, I’d wake up and be back at the monastery.
Exhaustion took me, but I found no rest, no peace.
When next I opened my eyes, the world was dark. Sleep refused to return, leaving me to face the cruel injustice of the world.
Every muscle burned and ached from being held in the same position for hours on end. It felt like thousands of needles protruded from my knees, on which all my weight rested.
Hours later the rustle of the tent flap accompanied by a shaft of dawn’s light announced someone’s presence, but I stubbornly kept my eyes trained on the ground. A warm breeze fluttered past, playing with the dirty, knotted tendrils of my hair.
“Such a pitiful sight.” A pair of boots deliberately came to stand within my line of sight, mocking my humiliation.
Lifting my gaze to meet his, I glared, defiant. No one would intimidate me.
Empty, cruel, pale blue eyes met mine, a sinister grin slithering across his face. “I can’t believe my men mistook you for a boy.” He knelt, taking my chin in his hand. “Far too elegant to be a boy.”
I wanted to squirm out of his grasp, but resisted. The lack of pity in his gaze twisted knots in my stomach. This was a man without mercy.
Still smiling, his hand moved from my chin to caress my cheek. “I suppose that knight is your noble protector. Tell me, who are you that you would warrant a protector?”
I maintained my silence. Let him think what he would.
Anger hardened his eyes. His hand was a blur, reaching up and pulling my head back by my hair.
Gritting my teeth, I endured the pain stoically.
“You would do well to answer, milady. I have very little patience and I might just have to torture that brave knight of yours if you don’t.” Spittle flew as he hissed in my ear. His grip tightened and he slammed my head against the pole.
“Are you really willing to let him suffer for you?”
“Why would I care?” I hissed back. “He’s the reason I’m in this situation in the first place.” I played his game--and won.
Flinging my head forward, he stomped away, wrestling the tent flaps out of his way as he left.
Sighing, I grinned ruefully at my small victory. Letting my head droop, I fell back into despair.

The night returned once more, with a vengeance. Lightning split the sky and thunder shook the ground. Pain speared through my skull. I swore the pain was worse than ever before. For the first time in years a whimper escaped my lips. The whimper quickly escalated to a full scream as indescribable agony ripped through my head and rippled down my spine.
Fire flooded my veins, burning, searing. My screams ripped through the night, echoing the sound of the thunder. The world around me ceased to exist as a world of torment evolved.
An inhuman howl rent the air, primal and savage.
What was happening? Never had the episodes gotten so violent.
The cry sounded again and again, each in time with the waves of torture breaking upon my mind and the cries escaping my lips.
So consumed in agony was I, that I never noticed my bonds being released. Instinctively my freed hands wrapped around my stomach, trying to hold back the raging torrent. I pulled my knees to my chest with little hope of escape.
Wave after brutal wave pounded away at my sanity. I was beyond all help.
Just when I thought it couldn’t get any worse, a tidal wave ripped an excruciating wail from my lungs. Eyes bulging open, I panted, struggling for breath in this suffocating haze of unbearable pain.
The world took shape before me, eyes filled with a mixture of concern, terror, dread, and pity. For a moment the depths of those dark eyes swallowed my pain. But all too soon it returned. An agonized whimper escaped my lips.
“Shhhh.” Strong, gentle hands supported my head and those eyes bored into mine, trying to communicate something unintelligible.
“I-It hurts.” I could barely get the words out between gasps.
“I know.” In spite of the pain I could hear the sympathy of a man who knew the pain I suffered. Guilt swept across his gaze before he disappeared from my line sight.
Once more a howl sounded in the night, full of sorrow.
Strong arms held me in a crushing embrace, my back to his chest. The pressure of his arms kept me from completely losing myself in the pain.
Through the night he never faltered, whispering words of encouragement and comfort I could barely hear through the waves of agony.
At one point everything became too much to bear and I clutched at his supporting arms asking and begging to die. It felt like I was being crushed beneath a mountain, every bone breaking and every muscle seizing.
There was a difference in my voice that startled me from the haze, but in a moment it was forgotten, the suffering finally diminished. In the absence of my cries there was silence. The storm was past and dawn on the horizon.
I felt fingers brush the sweat dampened hair from my face.
“Adanna?”
The man’s face finally came into focus, features becoming hauntingly familiar. The man I had sworn to hate and loathe for eternity knelt beside me, concern radiating from him in waves.
“We have to move. Can you walk?”
I flexed and found my joints locked in place. Shaking my head, I knew there was no possibility of escape.
“Go.” My voice cracked, but I knew he heard from the horror in his eyes.
“I’m not leaving you to be tortured Adanna.”
I wanted to laugh. Did he think man could inflict greater pain than what I had endured last night?
“Torture is the least of your problems.”
We both whirled to face the owner of the voice, Sir William standing to confront the threat. It was the same man who had come yesterday.
“Gisborn, you rat.” Sir William was somehow familiar with the man.
“You evade us without effort only to sneak into the camp and be caught now? You’re really making this too easy.”
Sir William shielded me from the man’s heartless smile. An involuntary shudder shook my frozen limbs. Sir William turned back to me.
“Adanna?” I could see the worry he felt for my condition, and I wished I could forget what he had helped me through the night before and return to hating him.
The muffled footsteps of more men entering the tent brought my attention back to my surroundings.
“Take him.”
The change in Sir William was instantaneous. Whirling in rage, he unsheathed his sword and swung. Two men fell, bleeding, to the ground.
“What are you waiting for fools?” Gisborn shouted at the remaining wary guards. “Take him!”
Hesitating only a moment before rushing forward, two men paid for their obedience with their lives. The remaining four guards managed to get their arms around Sir William, preventing further casualties. Struggling to escape, Sir William fought like a rabid wolf.
For a split second our eyes met, and what I saw sent a chill through my veins. Not only an uncontrolled rage burned deep within his gaze, but terror, desperation. He fought like a man with everything to lose.
The warmth of unbidden tears burned my cheeks as I looked on with a mixture of loathing and fear. Sir William slaughtered men like animals, blood staining his tunic as if in testament of his inhumanity. I’d never witnessed such brutality. The sight was so sickening I averted my eyes, a portion of the hatred and loathing returning.
All went silent. Lifting my head, I saw Sir William had ended his struggles. Our eyes only met for a moment before he lowered his gaze.
“Take him to the prisoner’s tent and secure him.” The man turned to face me, his evil smile twisting his already hideous features. “And take the girl to the questioner.”
Sir William’s head shot up.
Questioner?
I couldn’t stop the gasp when realization hit me.
Torture is the least of your problems.
Torture.
How could I be so afraid when only minutes ago I was convinced I could endure anything after last night? Sweat poured down my temples and back, my body shook in terror, and my hands grew cold and clammy. Was I so weak?
The men holding Sir William dragged him through the tent flaps. I could only look on as his form slowly disappeared from sight. A heavy ache settled in my chest, his absence almost tangible. The violence of my need to see him was overwhelming. If I had been able to move, nothing short of death would have kept me from running to his side. As it was I could feel my muscles begin to strain in their drive to pull me forward.
I couldn’t understand this reaction. Trying to suppress the urge to go after him, my hands knotted in fists and my jaw clenched with effort. Why was I reacting like this after all he had done to wreak havoc in my life?
“You’re not actually trying to rescue him, are you? You’re hardly in a state to attempt a suicidal mission.” Snapping his fingers, Gisborn signaled two guards to take me.
“You have a secret, and you’re going to tell me what it is, one way or another…” His voice gradually faded as they took me away.

Wildflowers, mountains, valleys. The image in my mind’s eye was blurred, distorted. The soft, puffy clouds were nothing but white globs floating in a sea of blue. The mountain peaks, jagged and magnificent in my memory, were now dulled by a misty haze.
“She’s receded into herself. Take her back to the tent and tie her up. We’ll continue tomorrow.”
The voice that had haunted my worst nightmares returned. Why did he have to come back time after time? What did he want?
The black of unconsciousness blanketed my mind…

Days, weeks, months, years. How much time had passed? How many days had I endured? How many more before my body and mind finally broke? I was on the edge, only a slight tilt to one side or the other and it would all end. I dreamt of death and the blissful release it would grant me. I longed for it, hoped for it.
The torture sessions only ended once the sun went down, a slight respite only to last until the sun rose. They were almost worse than the torture itself, my mind dredging up horrible images of what might be done to me next. Even worse, I thought of what they might be doing to Sir William and, though I wished it otherwise, regretted that his suffering was my fault.
Another night riddled with nightmares was nearing it’s zenith, sleep eluded my grasp after waking for the fifth time. The windless silence was broken by a low, mournful howl, a howl that sounded every night at this hour. Tonight it sounded different--stronger, more determined.
I could hear the guards shift uneasily outside the tent. They, too, had heard the different tone in the wolf’s howl. The whispers started and I knew their superstitions would get the better of them. If there was ever a time to escape, it was tonight. My mind broke from the prison of torture and grabbed hold of new found hope.



Chapter 5
Wolf
I struggled with my bonds, trying to loosen their tortuous hold on my wrists and ankles. The distracted guards failed to hear the shuffling of my escape attempts, but it didn’t matter since the ropes refused to release their hold.
I was numb to the burning of the ropes searing their way through the skin of my wrists and ankles. What was this pain compared to what I had endured every day, for how long I couldn‘t say? I struggled on, refusing to relent in my efforts.
The warmth of my own blood trickled down my writhing hands, but still desperation pushed me on.
The rustle of heavy fabric sent my eyes searching the thick darkness of my prison. The tent flaps were motionless, the guards outside still restless with superstition. I swept the empty space and froze when a moving patch, darker than the shadows around it, circled toward the center of the tent, toward me.
Familiar glowing white orbs floated in the darkness.
I sucked in a steadying breath. A wolf had found its way through the camp and into my tent. Should I risk calling out to the guards and ending any chance of escape, or hope the thing wasn’t hungry?
In the end I decided, even if the wolf was hungry, I’d rather face death at its hands than endure another second of torture.
I stiffened as the cool wet of the wolf’s nose prodded at my knee, testing my scent. I probably smelled like a juicy roast duck.
My breath frozen in my lungs; the wolf circled slowly. Its tongue lapped at the rivers of blood that had traversed the curves of my hands. Just get it over with. I’d rather not have the beast savor his meal.
A tugging at my wrists signaled the beginning of the feast. Funny, I thought, I couldn’t feel the razor points of its teeth tear through my flesh. I must be completely numb to pain by now.
I slumped forward, resigned to my fate, when gravity carried me the rest of the way to the floor. Barely containing a laugh of hysteria, I concluded the beast must have chewed my hands off, ironically releasing me from my bonds. Why hadn’t I thought of that? It’s not like it hurt.
My feet, once bound together, now lay apart. There go my feet. Getting eaten alive wasn’t as bad as I would have thought, especially since I could hardly feel a thing. I only hoped the wolf would finish me off before the guards could “rescue” me.
The wolf started lapping at my wrists and ankles again, or at least what was left of them. Can’t you just get on with it? I can’t be that tasty.
Unsure of what propelled me to look down at my severed limbs, my eyes, nevertheless, wandered down until they rested on my whole, unbroken arms and legs. The wolf stood licking the reddened rings around my wrists and ankles I had inflicted on myself. It finally dawned that the wolf had been gnawing on ropes, not flesh.
It finished its ministrations and moved to the back of the tent lifting up the edge of the fabric with its nose. Pausing, it looked back, as if waiting for me to accompany it.
Sure I was dreaming, I saw no reason not to follow. Muscles weakened from pain and lack of use left me unable to stand or even raise myself from the ground.
The wolf returned and licked my face, what I interpreted as its form of encouragement. I wish I could, but I can’t. I spoke silently to the wolf, unwilling to alert the guards to my current situation.
Silently slipping beneath the draping fabric of the tent, the wolf disappeared into the night.
Great, now what? I never thought I’d wish to have a man-eating wolf back.
Time stilled in the silent absence of the wolf. Had it been minutes or hours? My question left unanswered, a quiet shuffle at the back of the tent announced the return of the wolf. Maybe now that it knew it wasn’t getting me out of here it would eat me, and I wouldn’t have to endure another day of torture.
I saw the two orbs appear, approaching slowly. It sniffed at my ear, licking away the tickle it caused.
I let my eyes drift closed, as the weakness from constant hunger and pain beckoned my mind toward unconsciousness. Something warm gently caressed my cheek, sending me off into darkness with hope of release.

Searing pain washed the pleasant nothingness of unconsciousness away. Torture. It never ended. Why couldn’t it end?
It wasn’t long before I noticed the difference. The pangs radiated from inside out, not outside in. My head felt like it would split, familiar, yet unbearable. This wasn’t the torture of humans. This could only be another episode.
“-no choice. You did what you had to.” The voice wasn’t one I recognized.
“Charles, this is your place, not mine. You were heir, not I.” Sir William.
I could hear my groans and whimpers of pain that casued the men’s conversation end abruptly.
“Not again. Not so soon.” Panic infused Sir William’s voice.
“She can’t survive another one in the condition she’s in.” The unfamiliar voice again. He, too, sounded worried.
“There has to be a way to stop it.”
The stranger’s answer was blunt, forced, with no sign of hope. “She doesn’t have the control to reverse it. I’m not sure she could reverse it even if she did, she‘s too weak.” A long, tense silence. “You’re the only one who can help her now. I-I’ll be outside.”
“Charles-”
My scream cut off Sir William’s objection. My episodes had never been so violent, nor so frequent. Was something wrong with me? Was I sick?
“She needs you William.” The pain in the stranger’s voice mirrored my torture.
Feeling was beginning to return to my limbs, or just awareness. I could feel myself curled into a ball, trembling and writhing.
“Adanna open your eyes.”
Sir William’s command compelled me to obey, though I wished I could ignore him and return to blissful oblivion. He knelt beside me, my face held between his large hands. His eyes were haunted, guilt ridden. If I wasn’t in so much pain I would have laughed. Why should he feel guilty over me?
Another wave of pain crashed upon my senses and I squeezed my eyes shut.
“Adanna, open your eyes.” The command was firm and I obeyed. “Listen to me carefully, Adanna. I’m going to try and walk you through this, but you have to do everything I say. Do you understand?”
Somewhere deep down I wanted to rebel, but if he could help the pain go away I’d do anything he asked. I managed to weekly nod my head.
“First, you need to slow your breathing. Control it.”
A tear trickled down my cheek, wondering how I would do this when even the first task was impossible. It hurt to breath at all, even worse if I tried to breath deeply. My breath was coming in quick, shallow gasps.
Sir William shook me gently to regain my attention. “You have to Adanna. Breath. In. Out. In. Out.” He breathed the rhythm he wanted me to follow. It hurt, but I managed to synchronize my breathing with his.
“Good.”
I could hear the relief in his voice and had I been less occupied I might have wondered why.
“Now you need to relax.”
Relax? Was he kidding? His hands moved from my face to my arms and started a slow, gentle massage.
“Relax, just relax.” The tense, worried tone left his voice, replaced with calm, steady control.
At first it only made me tense up more. Then, though the pain continued, I found my muscles unclenching, yielding to Sir William’s touch.
“Now concentrate on the pain and eliminate it.”
How was I supposed to do that? How does one make pain disappear? I tried to focus on where the pain was radiating from. My head, it all started in my head. Pinpointing the exact spot, I imagined the pain disappearing, dissipating, dissolving.
I slowly sat up with Sir William’s help. It was gone. I stared at Sir William in surprise.
He still looked concerned. “Are you alright?”
“It’s gone.” I paused, checking myself to make sure. I was exhausted, barely able to remain in an upright position, but the pain was no more.
Breathing a sigh of relief, Sir William sat back and let his head droop, falling into his hands. I tried to ignore his presence, taking a quick glance at my surroundings, noticing a warm fire glowing in the darkness of night. Natural rock walls surrounded us, a cave of small proportions. Sir William’s voice distracted me from my observations.
“Charles, it’s over.” His voice was soft and didn’t carry far and I was sure the stranger had not heard.
The soft crunch of a footstep brought my gaze to the cave entrance. A man, very similar, yet strikingly different than Sir William, entered the cave. He was of the same height and build, with midnight black hair hanging below his shoulders just slightly darker than Sir William’s dark brown mane. The stranger, whom Sir William had called Charles, was in poor shape. His clothes were darkened with mud and dirt, his hair wildly tangled with neglect, and a thick beard blanketed his face. But all these details escaped me when his piercing, ice-white eyes locked onto me.
A chill ran down my spine and I knew I’d seen these eyes before. They were hauntingly familiar, glowing eyes I had dreamt of.
“It’s over?” As if his eyes couldn’t discern the truth for himself, he turned to Sir William for confirmation.
Sir William raised his head. “Yes, brother, it’s over.”
Brother? If my mind hadn’t been so clouded I would have been surprised. How could we have come upon Sir William’s brother in a place and circumstance such as this?
“I believe, Miss, that you should rest. You’ve had a long two weeks.”
Two weeks? Had it only been two weeks? It felt like two years.
Charles removed his worn, dusty cloak and laid it over me to protect from the night’s chill. Readily accepting his suggestion to rest I let my eyelids drift closed, sleeping peacefully for the first time in two weeks, barely noticing the rocks I laid on that should have hampered my rest.
My dream was filled with the deep, gentle voice of Sir William, and the soft, flowing voice of his brother, Charles.
“She doesn’t know yet? Why haven’t you told her?”
“I only came across her a little over two weeks ago, Charles. What’s your excuse? You’ve been watching over her for seventeen years. Why haven’t you revealed yourself and explained everything?” Frustration and anger tinted his words.
“I wanted to wait until she was older. I never thought she’d be thrust into such a precarious situation.”
“Okay, okay. That doesn’t really matter now. She’ll find out soon enough anyway. There are more important matters to discuss.” Why did Sir William sound so guilty? “It is time you take up your responsibility.”
“The responsibility is no longer mine, brother. You know that as well as I.”
“No!” Earnest anger covered the guilt. “You are the heir. Father chose you, not me. You are the eldest.”
“It’s too late William. The burden has passed to you.” With a sigh of resignation, Charles closed the conversation. “It seems fate has interceded in this matter.”
Sir William wasn’t giving up so easily. “Fate has nothing to do with it. You are the eldest. I cannot take this from you.” Silence. “Let her choose.”
Charles laughed, already resigned. “The choice has already been made. I cannot stand up against you, brother. Not now. The bond has been forged."



Chapter 6
Secrets
I guessed it was close to noon when I was finally able to peel back my lead weighted eyelids. The cave stayed cool in what would have been a sweltering day, and I was glad for that simple comfort. Both Charles and William were gone, I discovered after searching the immediate area. Once again I felt the ache of Sir William’s notable absence. I wasn’t sure what had changed so much that I needed his presence. I tried desperately to ignore it, but no matter what I tried it remained, palpable and obvious. I tried to examine why it was happening, hoping an answer would allow me to dismiss it, but to no avail. It would not leave.
I was well rested, but my body still ached from the beating it had taken from the daily torture sessions. Struggling to stand, I carefully balanced, keeping a steadying hand on the wall of the cave. Venturing outside I came upon Ares cropping the long, green meadow grass that covered the small clearing. Tall pines towered over my head, domineering, yet comforting in their coverage. I felt hidden and safe in the forest.
“Adanna, what are you doing up already?” Sir William stood at the edge of the clearing, his brother a couple paces behind with a large burden slung over his shoulder.
Running quickly to the cave entrance, Sir William practically slung me over his shoulder in his efforts to get me back inside. “You shouldn’t be on your feet for a few days. You need time to recover.”
I was shocked by Sir William’s reaction. His attitude toward me had changed sometime after our capture and I was still unsure as to why. It ate at me that I couldn’t figure it out.
“You shouldn’t worry so much William. The girl knows her limits.” Charles had followed us inside, depositing his burden on the floor. I saw now that it was a small buck. My mouth watered at the prospect of venison.
“She was tortured every day for two whole weeks, Charles. She needs rest.”
“And if I recall correctly, you suffered the same fate, yet you’re up and walking around.”
“It’s not the same.”
“No?”
“No. I’m older than she is.”
I was confused where this conversation was leading. What did age have to do with anything?
“That may be so, but as you can see she can nearly stand on her own already. The abilities have already started to manifest. Who knows what else she’s experienced?”
Abilities?
“Her sense of smell is on and off, as is her heightened hearing.”
Now I was really confused and starting to get angry. “Will you please stop talking about me like I’m not here?” They were silent and in the awkward stillness I was almost sorry I had interrupted.
“I’m sorry Adanna. We didn’t mean to be rude.” This was the first time Charles referred to me by name.
Now that the adrenaline from all the adventure had faded I started going over recent events in my head, questions rising up. First and foremost on my mind was how Sir William had found out.
“How did you find out I was a girl, and how do you know my name?” I blurted it before I could think that maybe I didn’t want to know the answer. I looked discreetly over to Charles and wondered how much of our story, of my story, Sir William had already disclosed to him.
Politely excusing himself with the excuse of having to clean the carcass of meat, Charles left Sir William to answer my questions.
Shifting, he let his eyes wander the cave before coming to rest on mine. I flinched at the intensity of his gaze.
“Do you trust me Adanna?”
I had been expecting an answer, not a question. Stuttering in frustration and surprise I tried to gather my thoughts. “I hardly know you.”
“Do you trust me?” he repeated, the intensity in his voice doubled.
“How can I trust someone I don’t know?” I was avoiding the answer. Trust him? I’d never trusted anyone more, not even Sir Alden, and it scared me. The trust was instinctual rather than intellectual. Everything rational and logical told me I couldn’t trust him. Look what had happened because he had shown up in my life.
“Adanna I have to know you trust me. There are things you must know, things that will be difficult to accept, but I must know I have your trust.”
This conversation was taking an unexpected turn and I wasn’t sure I was ready to follow it through to the end.
“Adanna, this is important.”
Sir William placed his hands on my shoulders and stared, imploringly, into my eyes. Inexplicably I felt the need to escape, to run. He saw the panic rising and tightened his grip.
“Running won’t stop it. You have to face this; it’s not going away.” He shook me, not violent, but firm.
“You’re scaring me.” I was breathless, his earnestness dredged up new fears. What could be so important, so vital that he would act this way? Warmth coursed down my cheek and I realized unbidden tears fell.
Sir William released his hold on my arms, slowly backing away as if he had been struck. Guilt and pain washed across his face. “Adanna --I…” He stared at his hands, as if they were the culprit. Suddenly a groan pulled its way from his lips. His hands curled inward, clutching at his chest. He was gasping for air before I could make my limbs move.
“Charles!” I didn’t know what else to do but call his brother.
“Adanna?” Charles appeared at my side. Seeing the state of his brother should have shocked him, or at least worried him, but I saw only sorrowful acceptance.
“Charles…” We both turned back to Sir William as he gasped out the words. “Get her out of here. She doesn’t need to see this.”
“She’s going to see it sometime, William.”
“No…Not like this…Not now.” Charles was motionless. “Get her out!”
Relenting, Charles rose, taking my arm in his large, calloused hand, ready to lead me away.
“Wait.” I wasn’t about to leave Sir William on his own when I might be able to do something. “Maybe I can help.”
“There’s nothing you can do. This must run its course.” He pulled me to my feet while I struggled to stay with the writhing Sir William.
“I have to help him!” Twisting my arm to release his hold, Charles eventually had to fling me over his shoulder to carry me out of the cave. I didn’t relent easily. My body seemed to be beyond my control these days. I kept telling myself Charles probably knew better than I what needed to be done. Still I struggled against him as if I had to stay with Sir William.
Charles left me lying on the ground outside. “You can’t help him, Adanna. No matter how much you want to.” He abruptly turned and strode back through the cave entrance.
There was no use going back in and arguing with him, he would only throw me back out. But why did Sir William want me out when I might be able to help? I crawled as close to the opening as I dared and waited, sure I could feel Sir William‘s pain. Every groan emitting from Sir William’s throat made me cringe. I yearned to return to his side, even if Charles was right and there was nothing to be done for him. I hated that urge and I hated waiting.
Voices filtered out into the open and I strained to hear.
“This wouldn’t be so hard if you would allow yourself to change more often.”
A growl. “And what? Live like you have for the past seventeen years? You’ve forgotten the human ways, Charles.”
“And you’ve forgotten your true heritage.”
“Heritage? Have you forgotten so easily Charles? Have you forgotten it all?” His words were garbled behind groans.
“I’ve forgotten nothing. Have you? We fight! We always fight.”
The passion I heard in Charles’ voice surprised me. What had happened to separate these two brothers and cause them to disagree so completely?
I waited for the broken conversation to continue, but only agonized silence followed. My mind jumped to the worse possible conclusion. Beyond my control, my legs carried me forward, back into the dimness of the cave.
“Sir William?” I called out his name, unsure and terrified he wouldn’t answer. What had he been thinking, sending me away when I might have been able to prevent this?
A whine echoed from the far end of the cave and I rushed forward, expecting the worse. All I saw was Charles sitting, legs crossed, with a dog’s head resting in his lap. He was whispering soft, gentle words.
“Charles?”
He whirled, not having heard my approach, caught up in the moment. The dog whimpered and tried to hide behind Charles’ large form.
“Where is he? Where’s William?”
Charles turned back to the dog and I wondered at the helpless look on his face.
“I have to tell her William.”
I looked questioningly from him to the dog.
“Charles?”
He stood, leaving the dog in full view of my curious scrutiny. I gasped when the dog turned out to be a wolf. His coat was dark. In the dim light of the cave I couldn’t tell the exact color, but one thing I did know: he had to be the wolf that had rescued me. He was the same size, the same build, the same…no, something was different, missing. Where were the all too familiar glowing white eyes?
My heart leapt when it started to growl. It’s ferocity was directed at Charles, but that made it no less terrifying. Its teeth bared and snapping, I wanted to bolt.
“William, she has to know.”
If it was possible, the growls intensified and the wolf now tensed, crouching, as if readying to pounce.
In response, Charles lowered his stance, alert and focused on the wolf. What was he going to do? My eyes wandered from wolf to man, an air of foreboding beginning to descend.
A slight moan turned my attention back on Charles. I squinted, not sure what I was seeing. His shape was blurred, contorted. Before I had fully realized what had happened, two wolves stood before me. The first was aggressively threatening the second who stood calmly staring back.
I fell back, a scream on my lips when the second turned to me, revealing ice white eyes. It was the wolf from before; the wolf that had been haunting me more and more often these past weeks. Untold, my mind made the impossible connection. Ice white eyes, the same as Charles. Black coat, Charles’ black hair. My eyes turned to the first wolf. Black eyes, dark coat. Sir William.
If this was Sir William, he saw my recognition and took a tentative step forward. Charles held back, letting William take the lead.
I felt myself stumble backward and away from the impossibility taking place before me.



Chapter 7
A Predator’s Presence
Branches tore away at my already ragged clothes. I didn’t feel the scratches from the thorns tearing into my bare arms. Panic clouded my mind and I didn’t know where I was running to; I had even forgotten what I was running from. I was just running. I knew I had to get away.
“Adanna!”
The voice barely registered as my legs propelled me ever faster into the depths of the forest. Why couldn’t I stop?
“Adanna, wait!”
I raced forward.
Breaking through a thick patch of underbrush, sunlight blinded my path. I slowed to shield my eyes, but couldn’t--wouldn’t stop. The clearing soon ended and I found myself encased by trees once more.
Sure I had come far enough, that I had lost whoever or whatever had been chasing me, I slowed and took in my surroundings. Nothing but trees, an endless sea of trees. Greens and browns blended and swirled in the vastness of never-ending trees. Where was the open air? I was suffocating.
Trying to calm and clear my racing mind, I slowed my breathing. One deep breath in and I was choking on the stench, my old nemesis. They were looking for me. They knew I was here and they were going to find me. The sounds came to my ears just moments later. The crashing and slashing of underbrush announced the closeness of their presence.
Which threat was greater? There was no way to evade both. Do I turn back and face the unknown, or turn myself over to the men who reveled in pain?
Before I could make a decision I felt a hand cover my mouth from behind and pull me to the ground. My instinct to fight kicked in and I threw my elbow into my attacker’s stomach. There was a soft grunt, but no loosening of his grip.
“Are you trying to get caught?” The demand was hissed right into my ear, quiet enough that it would be heard by no one else.
He obviously meant this as a rhetorical question, as his hand remained over my mouth, silencing any response I would have given.
I finally realized who he was. Sir William. Then I remembered why I was running, or more importantly, who I was running from.
I bit down hard, drawing blood. He didn’t even flinch, though I could almost picture him gritting his teeth against the pain.
“I am not your enemy, Adanna. I’ve never tried to hurt you, nor has Charles. Can those men say the same?”
I grudgingly admitted he was right. But Sir William and Charles, they were…different. They were something I couldn’t begin to explain, and I feared what I didn’t understand. I had only heard of such happenings in stories--stories meant to keep little children in line.
“I can promise you Adanna, we will never hurt you.”
My struggles ended, but not as a result of Sir William’s efforts. The men had appeared and I suddenly remembered the fear they instilled deep in my core. I was frozen.
I knew Sir William could feel I was paralyzed with fear, yet he refused to release his hold.
The tracking party was small, consisting of only three members. They passed quickly, pausing only once to check the trail they followed.
Sir William waited a few minutes after their passing to relax and shift his weight.
“Are you going to run again, or can I let you go?”
He removed his hand from my mouth so I could answer.
“I won’t run.” I could say nothing more, not to him.
I would run, but not from him. I would run from the monsters who chased us. I would run with Sir William and Charles.
“We have to get back to the cave and warn Charles.”
And so I followed. What else could I do?
As Sir William stealthily led us back to the cave, I lost myself in thought.
I knew what Sir William and Charles were and feared them, but why did I still feel a connection? Why did I still have to trust him? Was it even possible to fear someone and trust them at the same time?
Too many questions, too few answers. I remembered when life had been simple. When the hardest question to answer had been, what do you want for supper. How had life become so complicated and intolerable, so dangerous and unpredictable?
Before long we arrived at the cave entrance, Charles standing outside, awaiting our return.
“They’re back.”
“I know. We nearly had a run-in with them.”
“We have to leave. I’ve packed some supplies.”
So we fled north. Exactly where we were headed, I couldn’t say.

We’d been walking for half a day and into the night, Sir William and Charles in the lead, looking back every now and then to make sure I still followed. Weaving our way through the trees in the dark made the going slow. We were even further delayed when either Sir William or Charles would turn back and mask our trail.
The forest was thinning, giving way to gently sloping hills. The full moon shone down, glazing the landscape in hues of blue. The forest eventually disappeared completely, leaving nothing but open hills.
Sir William and Charles were uneasy about being out in the open for all to see. The cover of darkness was their only comfort.
I could feel my eyelids begin to droop as exhaustion set in. The distance between Sir William, Charles, and I was growing ever wider.
They must have thought it safe to speak, me being too fatigued to pay attention, for they conversed as if I were not present.
“She hasn’t made the connection yet?”
“No. She’s been too distracted to put things together.” I hated that it sounded like Sir William was defending me.
“It would be easier to evade our pursuers if she was aware.”
“No, it wouldn’t. She still wouldn’t be able to control it.”
There was a minute of silence before Charles moved onto another subject.
“We need a direction. We can’t just run blind.”
“Our best bet is to go where they wouldn’t be able to track us so easily; somewhere secluded, but where there’s enough food and water to survive.”
They went silent as they considered their options. If I had known the area and if I knew I wouldn’t be able to glean any more information from their conversation, I would have lent my opinion.
“Father’s canyon.”
“King’s Canyon?” Sir William nodded. “You remember that? You were very young when Father took us there.”
“I remember, and it’s perfect. Barren except for the springs and the deer that travel through for the grazing on the other side.”
“King’s Canyon it is.”
King’s Canyon…what destiny awaited me there?
My exhaustion must have caught up with me. The scenery around me changed. Rolling, moonlit hills were replaced with intimidating rock walls. They rose on either side, closing me in. I heard myself gasp in astonishment at the sudden change.
Sir William and Charles whirled to see what had upset me.
“Another episode?”
“No, she’s not in pain. It’s something else.” Sir William approached cautiously, aware that I still feared him. “Adanna?”
“Where are we?”
Sir William and Charles looked from me to each other, exchanging a questioning glance.
“We’re in the foothills of the Granthor Mountains. We’ve decided to head for King’s Canyon.”
“No. We’re not in the hills.” I thought perhaps I was having a hallucination, but my mind was clear. I could see this, but they couldn’t even though they stood right in the middle of it. What was this?
As quickly as it had come, it was gone. I shook my head, a reflex to clear my mind, but there was nothing to clear.
“Adanna?”
I looked up to find Sir William standing three feet away.
“Are you alright?”
I didn’t want his pity or his help. “I’m fine, just tired.”
“We should probably stop and rest for a while, William.”
“I suppose. We’ve gotten far enough ahead of them, it should be alright.”
Sir William and Charles lay down where they were, nestling into the long, cool grass for the night. I walked a few paces away and did the same.
Though I was exhausted, sleep eluded me. Questions plagued my mind, the answers tormenting and taunting in their elusiveness.
Sir William was restless. I could hear him tossing and turning in the stillness of the night.
“You can trust us, you know.”
I jumped, startled to find Charles had snuck up beside me without my seeing him. How could he be so silent, so invisible?
“Especially William. We’re only trying to help.”
“How? By taking me away from the only home and family I have? By running me all over the kingdom, getting me captured and tortured? By showing me your deepest, darkest secret and expecting me to readily accept it?”
Charles grew more and more angry as I continued. I would have kept going, but his eyes blazed with an unquenchable fire that left me uneasy. He barely held in the torrent when he spoke. “May I remind you, Adanna, that William helped you, not only when that knight would have taken you as his unwilling bride, but when he risked his own life to go into that camp of barbarians and rescue you. He endured the same torment that was inflicted upon you twice over. Never forget, Adanna, you owe William your very life. Nothing short of death can release you from that debt.”
He rose and stalked off to lay beside his brother, not another word spoken. He didn’t need to. Guilt washed over me. I had judged wrongly and on impulse. What right had I to judge either of them? Did a person’s shape define their character?
I still feared their wolf form, but I did not fear them. I could recognize the instinctual fear now. The flight response to a predator’s presence.
Sleep finally found me in the early hours of the morning, the grey of the horizon already beginning to announce the start of a new day.



Chapter 8
King’s Canyon
Four days of traveling passed before Sir William and Charles recognized a landmark, indicating the presence of the canyon.
“We only have a few more miles.”
I inwardly breathed a sigh of relief. It wasn’t the constant travel that had worn me down, I was used to that. It was the fear that constantly crept up my spine, fear that Sir William or Charles might change at any moment into their wolf form. I didn’t know if I could handle it again. It might cause me to go over the edge, and I think they sensed that, for they never changed.
Sir William had become especially sensitive to my moods, and kept his distance. He rarely spoke to me and when he did it was brief and to the point. Charles, on the other hand, was the complete opposite. He attempted to hold long, in depth conversations as we walked, abandoning Sir William to walk on his own for hours at a time.
Charles had been trying to interest me in the habits of wolf life, a subject, needless to say, I found uncomfortable. He found pleasure in describing the order of leadership and the roles of each member of the pack. He talked about it as if it were commonplace.
It was when he began describing the hunt and how the alpha had rights to the heart and liver of the felled beast when I knew I could take no more. I tried to look disinterested, looking away and letting my eyes wander, just hoping he would stop.
Our eyes met by chance, and I knew Sir William would intercede on my behalf, though I would never ask it of him. He slowed his pace, allowing us to catch up before he stepped in.
“Charles…”
My vision went black.
“Adanna?” Sir William noticed right away when I stopped in my tracks. “What’s wrong?”
“I can’t see anything.” My voice sounded calm, but my mind was in a panic. Had I gone blind? How could it have happened so quickly?
“Okay, just calm down.” Sir William urged me to sit, guiding me to a nearby boulder.
“Wait…I think I see something.” The darkness was not as thick as I had first thought. There was a blur of yellow light in the distance. There was scuffling and clicks in the darkness and I jumped as a cold, wet object glided against my upper arm.
Sir William’s hands came up and covered the chills that had risen on my arms. In that instant my vision returned. Charles stood just behind Sir William, who knelt beside me.
“It’s back?”
I nodded, not sure I trusted my voice not to betray the panic I felt.
“Maybe we should rest for a while. The journey hasn’t been easy on you.”
“No, I’m alright. We should keep going. You said we’re almost there so we might as well find a semi-permanent camp sight while we still have light.”
“Are you sure?” Sir William reached to touch my arm, but withdrew his hand when he saw me draw away. I hated that my fear still got the best of me. Trying to rid myself of the almost unreasonable fear towards Sir William’s and Charles’ wolf form.
“I’m fine.” I was short with him. Why’d he always have to question me like that? He’d been incessant these past days.
“Come, brother,” Charles clapped Sir William on the shoulder. “She looks no worse for wear anyway and the canyon is only a few miles further.”
Sir William nodded his assent and started forward, not looking to see if we followed.
Charles offered his hand, which I ignored as I stood.
We walked side by side for the remaining miles in silence. We reached the canyon and began our search for somewhere suitable to set up camp when Charles finally spoke.
“You still fear us.” It wasn’t a question and he didn’t look all that upset.
Telling the truth was hard, but I decided it was better they know. “It’s odd. I trust you and in my mind I know I shouldn’t fear you, but I do. The best way I can think to explain it is that I’m afraid because to you, the predator, I’m the prey. Logically I know you would never hurt me and you’ve told me that you have complete control when in that form, but I can’t help it.”
Charles started to laugh. I wanted to slap him silly, except he was already silly enough. He started laughing so hard Sir William turned to see what had his brother practically rolling around on the ground. When he saw nothing that would have caused such a fierce reaction he made his way over.
“Charles?”
“I’m sorry…it just…” He could barely speak he was laughing so hard.
“What’s so funny?”
When he saw Charles couldn’t answer him he turned to me. I wanted badly to turn and ignore him, but I shrugged my shoulders instead, averting my eyes.
“Well?”
Charles was finally coming under control. “She--She says her fear is a prey’s response to a predator.” Barely able to get through the sentence, he started cracking up again.
I thought I saw a slight smile cross Sir William’s face, but if it had been there it was gone in an instant. He turned to his brother and gave him a warning scowl.
I was confused. Why did Charles find it so funny? It made me wish I had never confided in him. And why had Sir William looked at his brother like that?
“Come on, William. You have to admit, that’s kind of funny.”
A stinging behind my eyes announced the beginning of tears. I wasn’t about to cry in front of these two. Clenching my fists, trying to turn my shame to anger. I strode quickly away in the direction we had come.
I heard a thump, then Charles.
“Ouch! What did you do that for? It was funny.”
“It wasn’t to her. She doesn’t understand, Charles. She’s wondering why she even confided in you.”
“I didn’t mean to hurt her feelings. Why don’t you just tell her?”
“I don’t think she’s ready.”
“So she’ll just wake up one morning…different, look in the mirror and what? Accept what she is?”
“Don’t you think I know it could be dangerous if she finds out like that? I just can’t tell her yet. She’s in too much of a fragile state right now. After all she’s been through in these past weeks, this will send her over the edge.”
“Maybe you’re right and maybe you’re wrong. Only time will tell. But she needs to be told, and soon.”
I had gone a ways, listening to their conversation as it was carried down the canyon. I stopped abruptly when a growl had me reeling backward. A rough, scraggly, brown wolf crouched not two feet away, teeth bared.
Before I could react, two more wolves bounded past from behind. I recognized the wolf forms of Sir William and Charles. They placed themselves in front of me, barring the brown wolf’s path. They were growling and baring their own teeth, warning the lone wolf back.
My heart leapt in my chest when six more wolves stepped up behind the first, each looking as fierce as the leader. Instinct took over and I ran.
I didn’t get far before two more wolves stopped my flight. They snarled and slowly advanced. I turned to run back to the protection of Sir William and Charles when something rammed into my back. Losing my footing, I reached out to break my fall. I managed to turn over, only to find the wolves standing over me. A scream was on my lips when a dark streak flew by, knocking the two wolves away. I sat up and pulled myself against the canyon wall to watch as Sir William snapped at my attackers.
“Can we not settle this as men?”
I turned toward the unfamiliar voice to find a tall, muscular, mussed man standing at the head of the pack. His brown hair hung loosely at his shoulders, his clothes were in a disastrous state, dirtied and torn. His deep golden eyes were piercing as they stared at Charles, now human.
The rest of the man’s pack were quick to follow the example of their alpha and shift to their human form. Sir William was the last to shift, still wary of the unfamiliar pack. I could now see that the pack, consisting of nine members, boasted seven males and only two females, all in the same disarrayed state as their leader.
I knew my mouth was hanging open, but I couldn’t help it. For some illogical reason I had believed Sir William and Charles to be the only ones of their kind. After all, how many wolf men could the world hold?
Now in his human form, Sir William unsheathed his sword.
“Now what do you plan to do with that?” one female challenged.
Sir William refused to answer, raising the sword in response.
“Do you really think that will do much good if we want you dead? It’s nine against two, friend. Odds not in your favor.”
“I wouldn’t bet on that, friend.”
“And you forgot to count the lady,” Charles added.
“The lady? She’s naught but…” He stopped abruptly and sniffed the air. “Ah, a young one. Not past her first…” He stopped to smell again. “This is interesting. What’s your story, friends?”
“I think an explanation is warranted on your side. What are you doing on these lands, and in particular, in this canyon? They are the lands of the Royal Pack,” Sir William challenged.
“The Royal Pack hasn’t claimed these lands in nearly twenty years. We thought it was a convenient hunting ground, seeing as the deer pass through on their way to better grazing. We never meant to trespass, or perhaps we did, but we meant no harm.”
Charles had a thoughtful expression on his face and posed a question to the alpha. “What are you doing here though? The only other pack in this area is the Night Pack.”
“They’re rogue,” Sir William supplied.
“Rogue? Now that’s kinda catchy. How ‘bout it gang. Shall we christen ourselves the Rogue Pack?” The pack responded with grunts and nods of approval.
He turned his attention back to Sir William. “As to how we came here, there’s not much to tell. We, most of us anyway, were lone wanderers, outcasts from other packs to the north. We happened upon each other in different places and circumstances and eventually we all came together. So, now you have our story, what’s yours?”
“We’re on the run.”
“Charles!” Sir William still did not trust the pack.
“Fugitives is it? From the law, pack, or something worse?”
Sighing in defeat, Sir William provided, “From the Barbarian King’s invading armies.”
“From something worse then. How’d you end up on his bad side?”
“He has a very curious and cruel general who’s interested in our lady friend.” Charles seemed at ease with the pack, his guard lax and his stance relaxed.
“She is a beauty.”
“Not that kind of interested.” Sir William was holding back anger, whether directed toward the pack leader or at the memory of the general I couldn’t say. “He spent two weeks torturing us, convinced we were hiding some secret.”
“And you were,” the alpha smiled slyly.
Sir William gave him a look that dared him to say more.
“Well, if you need a place to lay low for a while you are welcome to our hospitality. We don’t have much to offer but food and shelter, but it’s better than being on the run.”
“You invite us to stay on our own lands?” Sir William was outraged, but Charles cut him short.
“We are grateful for the offer and would like to take you up on it.”
“Very well, follow me if you please.”
I tried to stay as far away from the wolf men as possible, but I found that to be difficult as they surrounded us. Charles was all talk and I learned the names of the pack members as everyone introduced themselves. It was hard to remember the names of all nine males, but the leader was called Ty. George, Humphrey, Allen, Henry and Cory were other names I heard, but couldn’t put faces to. The two women were called Susan and Irene.
Charles and Ty kept the conversation going while Sir William glared into the distance. I tried to forget the fear that held fast at my insides. Trying to distract myself, I looked up to stare at the canyon and the intricate rock formations.
“I think I’ve been here before.” It was only a whispered thought, but Sir William turned to me.
“That’s not possible. You never left the monastery in your years there, and I’ve been with you since. You couldn’t have come here before.”
“But I have. I recognize it.”
Freezing in my tracks, the pieces came together. How was it possible?
The female, I think it was Susan, ran into me before she could stop herself. “Somethin’ the matter hun?”
“Huh? Oh…no nothing.” I continued walking under the close scrutiny of Sir William, the others having brushed off my odd behavior.
Ty led us to a deep, cool cave. “We all sleep here while the sun is still high. We go out to hunt once the moon rises. You’re welcome to find a place and curl up.”
Charles took Ty aside and whispered quietly to him. I could only catch a few phrases of what he said. “We would appreciate it if you would stay in your human form while in Adanna’s presence. She’s skittish around even our wolf forms.”
Ty nodded. “Perhaps one day you wouldn’t mind telling me your story, particularly hers.”
“Perhaps.” They moved deeper in to the cave still whispering, deep in discussion.
Sir William stepped over, and I nearly flinched. He handed me bed firs and a small piece of lightly cooked meat.
“You should eat and rest. It’s been a long journey.” He looked crestfallen and tired. He walked off, probably to find his own meal and bed, leaving me to find a place to sleep. I looked around to find most of the space taken up by the pack and I didn’t want to sleep next to them.
I tensed as Susan and Irene approached. I saw now that Susan was the elder with streaks of silver beginning to color her light brown hair. She had stormy blue eyes and tanned skin from years in the sun. Irene was a dirty blond with sea green eyes, slightly plumper than Susan’s stick thin frame. She sported the same sun tanned skin as all the pack, and a few wrinkles at her eyes.
“If you’d like there’s a little more privacy in the back of the cave. We convinced the men to move out. We’re both mated so you needn’t worry about being cramped.”
I thanked them quietly and maneuvered my way to the rear of the cave. Discovering two separate passages, I took the left hoping it was the right direction.
“So neither of you have told her? She doesn’t know?”
“No”
“What would persuade you to do such a stupid thing?”
“She’s already frightened, even though she knows we have full control in our wolf form. Imagine what she would do if she found out she was wolfen as well.”



Chapter 9
Over the Edge
I felt my legs begin to collapse beneath me, my knees crashing painfully into the stone floor of the cave.
“What the-”
I wasn’t ready to face Charles as he appeared, eyes wide and searching.
What else could I do, but what I always did? I ran. Entering the main part of the cave in seconds, I tripped over one of the male wolfen in my haste to get outside.
He swore and I was up and running again before anyone could ask what was wrong. I ran past them all, my brothers and sisters--brothers and sisters I didn’t want and couldn’t accept.
“Adanna?” I heard Sir William’s questioning yell follow me out the cave.
“Adanna!” That was Charles, but I wouldn’t stop for either of them.
“You fool!” I wasn’t sure who Sir William was yelling at and I didn’t care.
I ran blind, tears blurring my already fear filled eyes. It couldn’t be true, it just couldn’t. What had I done to deserve such a fate? Had I angered God?
I ran on, running from the tangled web of fate that pulled at me, running from those like me, running from myself. If I ran fast enough maybe I could leave it all behind, maybe I would run off the face of the earth and into wonderful oblivion.
My legs burned as I pushed myself ever faster and farther. Breath came painfully in and out of my burning lungs. The sobs escaping my throat made it difficult to breathe and soon I had to slow or risk passing out. My mind was reeling with facts I couldn’t and wouldn’t accept.
I stumbled to a nearby tree, having left the canyon far behind. There was a hollow in the large trunk, large enough for me to crawl inside.
My limbs were trembling in a mixture of exhaustion and fear. My breath came in gasps and I was unable to get it under control.
To make things worse, my head split with pain. I pushed my palms against my temples to no avail. Nothing stopped this pain.
Everything began to change. Sounds, sights, and smells assaulted my senses. Pain radiated from my head, down my spine and to every inch of my body. Spasms wracked my already writhing form.
Sounds of approach sent me scrambling to the back of the hollow, as far from my pursuers as possible.
“Adanna?”
I knew it was Sir William, not only from his voice, but from the sound of his movements and his scent. I could recognize the changes for what they were now and it only served to frighten me more.
A hand appeared at the top of the opening, Sir William’s face appearing after. His gaze looking in on me revealed pity.
I didn’t want his pity, his attention, or even him. I wanted to be alone. Was that so hard to understand?
A growl escaped my lips. I had changed. I was now a wolf and every heightened sense screamed at me to flee. If I couldn’t escape what I was then I at least wanted to escape them.
“Adanna.” His voice was gentle, coaxing as he stretched out a comforting hand. Moving closer he made to enter the hollow with me.
Panic made me snap out, catching his fingers between my razor sharp teeth.
The warm, coppery taste of blood dribbled onto my tongue. I was revolted at how good it tasted. Cringing back, a whine on my lips, or whatever it was wolves had.
Sir William wrapped one strong arm around my torso and pulled me out of my hollow. I struggled to escape his grasp, but I didn’t dare bite him again, fearing the luring taste of fresh blood. I whined, yelped, growled, and barked, but he wouldn’t relent.
“Adanna, you need to change back.”
My mind began to panic even more. What if I couldn’t turn back? What if I was trapped in this form for the rest of my life?
“Adanna you have to come back. Picture yourself in human form. Want yourself into that form.”
I did want to turn back and the only picture in my mind was what I had once been, what I had once looked like. Why couldn’t I do it? I really was going to remain like this forever.
“You have to calm down Adanna.”
I couldn’t. He was asking the impossible.
“It’s okay. I’ll wait.” He held me firmly in place, knowing I would run if he released me. His large hands stroked my fur. It took almost an hour before this had any affect. I stopped struggling, exhausted, his touch soothing my trembling muscles.
I couldn’t say when the change happened, but I opened my eyes and found my head--my human head--resting in Sir William’s lap. He continued his soothing motion of running his fingers through my hair.
My eyes fought the weights that threatened to close them.
They flew open when I heard someone‘s approach. Sir William was calm but wary.
Charles stepped through the trees. He didn’t slow before he stood before Sir William and me. Without warning he reached down and wrenched me to my feet and started dragging me behind him.
“I’ve had quite enough of this. We’re going to have a nice long talk, you and I, and you’re going to act sensible.”
I felt Sir William’s approach as he came around to face his brother, placing a restraining hand on his elder brother’s shoulder. “Take your hands off her Charles.” I had never seen such fire in his eyes directed toward anyone but an enemy.
“Get out of my way little brother. She‘s not some fragile flower, she‘s wolfen. It‘s long time she start acting it.”
They were both more serious than I had ever seen them.
“You‘re not taking her, Charles. You will not treat her this way.”
“She’s my betrothed, not yours William. I will do with her what I will.”
There was no warning before Sir William’s fist struck Charles’ jaw. Charles flew back, his hand releasing it’s hold on my arm.
“She is not yours.”
When Charles picked himself up off the ground he was in his wolf form. Sir William followed suit and the two brothers fought.
Blood was drawn.
“Stop! Stop it!” It was the most frightening spectacle I had ever witnessed.
Both paused when they heard my screams.
I fell to my knees, suddenly too weak to support myself. Sir William strode over and licked my cheek. Changing back to his human form he wrapped my drooping shoulders in his arms.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” I couldn’t explain how his words were able to comfort me when I knew I should fear him, when my mind told me not to trust him.
Looking up I found Charles had retained his wolf form. He took a moment, staring at me. When Sir William turned to look at his brother, Charles turned and left.
“Charles.” I wasn’t sure why I called out to him. I suppose some part of me hated to see him hurt. He turned only for a moment before he disappeared from sight.
Tears paraded down my cheeks and I didn’t try to stop them. It was all too much. I couldn’t take it all in at once; I was still trying to process the fact that Sir William and Charles’ wolf forms were not just a dream or a figment of my imagination, let alone the fact that I was one of them. How was I to cope with still more surprises?
The sun had long set and still I remained in the circle of Sir William’s protective embrace, the tears continuing to flow. Acceptance didn’t come easily or without price.
I finally asked the question I had wanted to for hours. “Betrothed?” I had thought all the secrets had been revealed when I learned they were wolfen. How many more secrets were they concealing from me? I lifted my eyes to meet his, only to find anger.
“You weren’t supposed to know, at least not yet.” He took a deep breath and I was relieved to see answers were coming. “Adanna, how much do you know of our history?”
I sniffed back more tears before answering. “Father Michael and Sir Alden taught me all they knew. I think I remember most of it.”
His hands had returned to stroking my hair. “Let me tell you a tale, a tale of the wolfen. Not so long ago there lived an ambitious young wolfen with hair the color of fire and eyes of gold known as Dunstan. He refused to accept his lot in life and strove for much more, for everything beyond his grasp. He worked hard, laboring day and night to achieve his goals. During this time, he met and fell in love with a young, beautiful wolfen female. Karen, was her name. They married. Before long Dunstan had an opportunity to achieve his every dream and he took it. As his power grew, so did his lust for that power, for greater power.”
Sir William’s eyes looked blankly into the distance, emotionless. “Before long he had the throne and began his conquest of the surrounding lands. As his power and influence grew so did his cruelty. In time his queen bore him a child, a daughter. She fled, fearing for herself and her new born child. Dunstan let Karen leave with his daughter, who never would have been able to inherit the throne, and married another. Karen fled her husband’s kingdom. She came to our king, King Connor and begged for his aid. She told him all and, seeing her dilemma and seeing an opportunity, King Connor agreed to take her and her daughter into his house. There was one condition: her daughter, Sakira, would wed the king’s eldest son on her sixteenth birthday.”
The puzzle was beginning to form a recognizable picture. “Charles?”
Sir William nodded solemnly, looking down at me with sorrowful eyes. “Charles was to be your husband, and you were to be his queen.” He took a steadying breath and continued. “Father believed he might win support from members of Dunstan’s pack from the marriage and perhaps bring peace to the realm. You’ve no doubt learned that King Connor was overthrown by the Barbarian King Dunstan.”
I nodded, no words coming to my lips.
“I remember that night like it was yesterday, though I was only a boy of nine. Charles was almost a man that day. His fifteenth birthday was in two weeks when the Barbarian King’s men attacked, killing our father and mother. Charles and I were lucky to escape with our lives. Sir Alden, the King’s Champion, smuggled us out amidst all the chaos. You were left behind. We thought you had been killed. Once we were to safety Charles insisted on going back to search for you. He found the castle in ruins and everyone dead or dying. He returned only to leave again, unwilling to accept your death.”
A gentle smile warmed his face for a moment at the memory. “He had grown very attached to you in the short time you lived at the palace. You two were inseparable. After a couple years of no word Sir Alden left me with a family and went to search for you and Charles on his own. I followed him when I reached my fifteenth year. Charles had found you rather quickly, but refused to leave you to send word to Sir Alden and I. Sir Alden searched, joining other wandering knights trying to defend their already overthrown kingdom. He was injured and that’s when he finally found the monastery and you. They both had learned that Father Michael, our father‘s religious advisor and friend had rescued you from your father‘s men.”
“Father Michael and Sir Alden knew?”
“Yes.”
I felt the change in Sir William’s voice as he began the end of his story. “Sir Alden had taught me the ways of a knight since I was a young boy and I joined a group of rebel soldiers hoping my travels might bring me to either Sir Alden, my brother, or you. We were ambushed in the hills by the Barbarian King’s men. We fought to the last man. I thought I would die that day, but Ares brought help and I found not only Sir Alden and my brother, but you.”
He sighed as if a great weight had been lifted from his shoulders.
“Sakira? That’s my real name?”
“It is your royal name. A name you can never give to anyone.”
“Because they would know I was the daughter of the Barbarian King.” I let my head fall to Sir William’s shoulder.
Sir William lifted my chin with his fingers. “Because they would know you were meant to be the future queen of this kingdom.”
“So my true name will only bring peril.”
“Adanna, you don’t realize the name you carry now is the name that has protected you throughout all these years and thus brought you happiness and joy. Father’s daughter. That’s what Father Michael named you. He wanted you to feel like you had a place in this world. He loved and raised you as his own.”
“He’s the only father I have ever known, the only one I will ever know.”
Sir William’s arms held me closer, though I thought it more for his own comfort rather than mine. “And now you know it all.”
I took a deep breath, knowing this changed everything. I had a past and now I had a future, though I was unsure of what that future would be.
“I have to talk to Charles.”
I pulled back to gauge his reaction.
“I know.” He showed no more signs of anger, only apprehension. What did he fear would happen?
“How do I find him?”
Guiding me to my feet, Sir William asked me to wait while he left to track Charles.



Chapter 10
Betrothed
It wasn’t long before Charles made his appearance. I took note of Sir William‘s absence, though I had a feeling he lay just beyond sight. Turning my eyes back to Charles I took a tentative step forward.
“Is it true, what you said?” I already knew the answer, but I wanted him to confirm it.
Charles didn’t look angry or upset. He didn’t look uncomfortable or unsure. He didn’t look anything. His eyes were cold, almost dead.
“Charles?”
“It’s true.”
There was an uncomfortable silence while I tried to think of which question I should ask, where I wanted to take this conversation.
Charles saved me the trouble, slowly, step by step, moving closer. He reached out a reluctant hand, then withdrew it. “The betrothal is no longer in effect. William has seen to that. It seems fate has favored him this time.”
I wasn’t sure what he was talking about, but I let it go. “Why?”
He knew I wanted to know why he had let me go so easily. “If he has not seen fit to explain it to you then I will not question his decision.”
“His decision? What about my choice? Don’t I deserve to know if it involves me, which obviously it does? I am my own person. I belong to no one, not you and not him.”
A humorous smile brightened his features. He traced a single finger across my left cheek. “My little Kira has grown up.”
“Kira?” I mirrored his smile tentatively.
“That’s what I used to call you when you were little. But it’s still not my place to tell you; it’s William’s. If you want to know you’ll have to take it up with him.”
“And here I thought all the secrets were out in the open.”
As Charles laughed I knew the rift between us had been repaired, if not wholly than at least in part. I only hoped it would heal as quickly for him and his brother.

Charles walked me back to the canyon, arm in arm. He was sure to release me before we encountered Sir William, not wanting the tensions to escalate.
“Ah, milady. We’re pleased ye have returned.”
“Ty,” I acknowledged.
He boldly stepped forward, took my hand and planted a gentle kiss on my palm.
Charles apparently didn’t like this. He stepped between Ty and me. “I think that’s quite enough from you.”
“What?” Ty looked at Charles, eyes wide and innocent. “You aren’t mated are you?”
Mated? I blushed a deep scarlet, a noise of protest escaping my mouth.
“I take that as a no,” Ty smiled. His golden eyes turned to me. “If I may--”
“No you may not,” Charles interrupted. “She may not yet be mated, but she is spoken for.”
“By you?”
Charles’ face was stern and impassive.
“Ah, the brother then. William. What claim does he have on her?”
“It’s really none of your business.” Sir William stood ten feet behind us, his arms crossed.
Ty raised both hands in defeat. “Alright, alright. No need to get testy, friend.” Ty left with the excuse of checking on the pack.
Charles turned to Sir William and held out a hand. “I’d like to apologize, brother. I was out of line.”
“I apologize as well. It was wrong of me to treat you so harshly.”
“I understand, really. You were protecting her.” The two strode off together, leaving me bewildered at their sudden forgiving attitude.
“Just don’t let me see you do that again.” Sir William was teasing Charles, as I quietly trailed behind.
“You can’t coddle her Will. She won’t learn if you’re too soft on her.”
“Excuse me?” I’d had enough of this talk. I strode up and separated the two brothers, walking between them. “If you had simply told me everything instead of hiding it, we wouldn’t have to argue about who’s too soft and who’s too rough.”
“If we had told you straight off, you never would have believed us. You would have thrown our words back in our faces unless we proved it all true, then you would have freaked out as much as you did today, if not more. I wouldn‘t doubt you would have died from shock.” Charles ruffled my hair playfully.
I hated that he was probably right.

“We are creatures of the night. Darkness enfolds us, hiding our movements from others and allowing us to move without detection.”
The full moon was high in the sky, the stars shimmering dimly beside it’s incandescent beauty. Sir William was introducing me to the ways of the wolfen. We sat against the canyon wall, staring into the endless night sky.
He followed the direction of my gaze and smiled. “She’s beautiful, the moon.”
“She?”
“The lady of the skies.”
I turned when Charles appeared, sitting on my other side. “It is said the moon once roamed the skies alone, searching. She never new exactly what it was she was looking for, but she continued on for eons. There was a part of her that wished to give up and die in her solitude. Then one day she felt something tug at her mind. She followed it and came upon the sun in all his glory. She was immediately attracted to his radiance and moved ever closer. Before long she felt the sting of his rays, but she couldn’t stop, she was inexorably entranced.”
Sir William continued the story in a reverent tone. “There was another--another who had seen the moon, her beauty, her kindness, and her sorrow. He loved her and despaired that she had been caught in the web of Sun’s lustrous rays. Refusing to allow her death, he attempted to rescue the moon. But she couldn’t see him against the sun’s brilliance. Calling upon his children, the wolfen, he asked them to call to her, to bring her back. Just as the sun was about to consume the moon, she heard the desperate howls of the wolfen and turned back to see the earth waiting just beyond the sun’s deadly rays. The earth could not speak, the wolfen spoke for him. They sang tales of the earth’s love for the moon and begged her to return.”
“And she came.” I liked the story, though I doubted its truthfulness. It was simply a myth among the wolfen, much like those of other cultures, tales to inspire awe and wonderment.
Charles smiled softly. “Yes, she came. But the sun would not release his prize. He pulled even harder, unwilling to give her up to another. The earth had no choice but to get closer and take the moon for himself for she could not escape the sun. Earth had enough strength to keep the moon from the sun, but not enough to escape. They are forever trapped in the sun’s jealous grasp, barely eluding his reach. It is a constant battle of wills. The sun pulls on the moon, but the only weapon the earth has to combat him is the wolfen. So every night you can hear the cry of the wolfen to the moon to remain, to resist.”
“So it is wolfen I hear, not wolves?” I wondered that there could be so many wolfen when they were only known in legend and myth.
“No,” Sir William explained. “Wolves are our cousins. They are the descendants of wolfen who forsook their human form. They cry to the moon, though they do not know why.”
“It’s a sad tale.”
“So it is, but the lesson is powerful.”
Sir William stood, brushing the dust from his pants. “I promised Ty a hunt tonight.”
“A hunt?” I stood, curious. Charles had explained enough to grab my attention and the memory of the taste of fresh blood was in the forefront of my mind.
“You are not old enough to attend,” Sir William pushed me back to a sitting position. “You cannot yet control your shifts and you know far too little to hunt what we will hunt tonight.”
Charles laid a comforting hand on my shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll stay and keep you company. I never promised to go on this hunt and I’m not a big fan of wild boar anyway. Far too tough for my taste.”
“Wild boar?” I couldn’t explain my lack of fear. Had I been my normal self, I would have been trembling at the thought of hunting such dangerous prey. But my body and mind raced at the idea of such a challenge.
Sir William must have sensed my growing excitement and stared me down. “You’re not going.” He turned to his brother. “Charles you keep her here.”
“I’m not a dolt, Will. I know she’s too young to hunt boar.”
“I still wouldn’t put it past you to decide to give her a few private lessons on hunting.”
Charles let his mouth drop open and his eyes grow wide with mock insult. “I would never.”
“Oh yes you would. Now be good, the both of you.” He pointed a finger to emphasize his point before turning and leaving Charles and I alone.
“Would you really give me hunting lessons?” I turned expectantly to Charles, hoping for some insane reason that he would agree.
“Probably…if you could shift at will. I think we should attempt to hone that skill before we try anything rash.”
“Okay, what do we do first?”
Something about what I had said surprised Charles and it showed.
“Why the sudden change of heart? Earlier today you would have been terrified at the thought of shifting.”
I shrugged my shoulders, unsure myself. What had changed?
Charles imitated the motion and held a hand out to help me to my feet.
“First thing is to completely relax and concentrate. Picture yourself in the shape you wish to be. It is the same whether you wish to shift to human or wolf form.”
I followed his instruction, closing my eyes to block out any needless sensation. I pictured a wolf in my head. On impulse I wondered what exactly I looked like in wolf form. I’d have to remember to ask Sir William about that.
Berating myself for losing focus I started over, forming the image of a wolf in my mind. I slowed my breathing and forced my muscles to relax.
A familiar pain radiated from my skull. I dropped to my hands and knees as it intensified. I opened my eyes to see Charles’ boots a few inches from where I knelt in pain.
Charles stood above me, hands on hips, a small smile playing at his lips. “Stand up and try again.”
My breath was coming in heavy gasps and the lingering pain in my head made me want to slap him across the face. He was being unnecessarily cruel.
“You wanted to learn, no? Get up.”
I screwed up my face in concentration, getting to my feet with some effort.
“Try again.”
I did it again, and again, and again, until I was exhausted and my legs could no longer bear my weight.
All my energy drained, Charles was forced to practically carry me back to the cave.
“You did well, Adanna.”
I started. He was praising me? But I hadn’t even managed to shift, not once, and he had been so cruel before. His lightning fast mood swings were confusing and irrational. One minute he was happy go lucky then he was as stern as a military commander, the next he was smiling. What was up with this man? I was too tired and irritated to ask so I let it go.
“The pain will lesson when you become accustomed to the shifts. Don’t be too worried that you couldn’t get it on your first try. It took me almost a month to learn to shift at will. Will tells me it took him three weeks, so don’t beat yourself up over it.
Charles helped me to the back of the cave, where my sleeping furs were laid out. He tucked me in, patted my head and left. I yawned and quickly fell asleep to dreams of running with a pack.
Whether it was a dream or I woke up sometime during the night I wasn’t sure, but I remember Sir William and Charles speaking softly just outside the opening.
“You didn’t have to push her so hard, Charles.”
“She wanted to learn Will. This is a hard life, a painful life. It is best she learn that soon.”
“You still didn’t have to be so tough on her.”
“Will, you have to stop coddling the girl. I understand you’re bonded and that you feel everything she feels, but it’s keeping you from pushing her. She won’t be able to improve herself if you don’t push.”
It went silent after that and I found myself falling into blissful darkness one more.



Chapter 11
Lessons
I woke up the next morning even more exhausted than I had been last night. My head pounded and my muscles ached. I stifled a groan as I pulled myself up to a sitting position.
A hand restrained me, pushing me back to the sleeping furs.
“Stay in bed for a while.” I recognized Charles’ voice. “The morning after is always the worst.”
“It’s not that bad.” I tried to brush it off, not wanting to appear weak--not when Charles had been so strict and harsh last night.
He left his hand on my shoulder, subduing my attempts to rise. “I said stay in bed. If you don’t, I’ll get Will to come hold you down for a while. I know he won’t let you get up for another few hours at least.”
“That’s true.” Sir William stepped inside, grinning. “I’ll take care of this Charles; you can go.”
Charles removed his restraining hand and clapped his brother on the shoulder before leaving.
“Sleep. You’re exhausted.” Sir William came and sat at my side. Reclining against the cave wall, he closed his eyes. It wasn’t too long before the rhythm of his breathing lulled me to a dreamless sleep.
When I awoke next darkness permeated every corner of the cave, leaving me blind. I felt around, trying to get my bearings, when I touched cloth. I recoiled my hand when I realized it was Sir William, asleep beside my bed.
“Finally awake?”
I jumped. Sir William laughed at my surprise, then grabbed my hand.
“We should go. The night is already half over and we have yet to begin your lesson. But first things first. Food.”
He led me out of the cave, though I wasn’t sure how, seeing as he must be as blind as I. Handing me a thick slab of cooked meat, he motioned for me to eat as we walked.
I felt self conscious as I consumed the entire steak. There were no utensils, no plate, no napkins. But it was delicious and tender. I licked my fingers clean of the grease, sighing with the satisfaction of a full stomach.
Sir William stopped and turned to face me. “Let’s begin.”
He coached me gently, but firmly, different than Charles had the previous night. His encouragement lent strength and determination to my efforts and I pushed myself to a higher standard.
When we finally ended dawn was on the horizon and I lay on the ground exhausted, but insisting I could go for one more.
“That’s enough. You’ve done well.”
Once again I could barely hold myself up. Instead of half dragging me as Charles had done, Sir William picked me up and carried me back to the cave and my sleeping furs.
“Sleep,” was all he said, sitting beside my bed once again, leaning against the wall and closing his eyes.
I woke up late that afternoon not nearly as tired as I had been. Feeling well rested, I ventured out to find Charles, Sir William, and the rest of the pack.
I found them a ways down the canyon playing some kind of game. Even Sir William was participating, and looking like he was enjoying himself.
I discretely moved to one side of the canyon and watched the game progress. There was a ball fashioned from some kind of animal skin and they were kicking it back and forth. As I watched, I soon determined two teams were involved. Each tried to gain possession of the ball and kick it past the other team between two stones set up as some kind of goal.
I deduced that there was some kind of strategy utilized, but wasn’t quite sure what it was. I spent a while trying to determine the player’s movements and decipher the teams’ attack and defense patterns.
The sun was beginning to set before anyone realized I stood at the edge of the game. Ty wiped the sweat from his brow and came to sit against the canyon wall.
“Your boys are quite a team. They’ve beat seven of my guys, just the two of ‘em. One would almost believe they could read each other’s minds. Kinda scary, really.”
I laughed. He had no idea.
I looked over when Ty cleared his throat. “I suppose, that between the two of them, a gentleman like myself would have no chance to woo such a beautiful lady.” He took my hand and kissed it elegantly.
Smiling complacently, I chose not to answer. Neither Sir William nor Charles had a claim upon my affections no matter what anyone thought. I was my own person and I was determined that nothing would change that unless I willed it so.
“Stubborn are we? Well, if those two dopes are ever stupid enough to let you get away from them, I’ll be waiting on the sidelines. I like a woman with a bit of a stubborn streak in ‘er. It makes things so much more challenging. A wolf lives for the hunt, after all.” He winked, then left as he saw Sir William approaching.
“He wasn’t bothering you, was he?”
I shook my head. “So how does this game work?”
Sir William took a few minutes to explain the basics of the game, then invited me to join a friendly match with the rest of the pack. As dusk fell to night I was beginning to learn the finer points of the game and enjoying the challenge it presented. I was pleased to note I was a fair player and could keep up with most of the men.
Ty stepped in as we were about to begin another match. “It’s time to start the real fun. Let’s move out.”
The pack followed his lead down the canyon. Sir William and Charles lagged behind, both looking at me.
“What? Don’t let me keep you.”
Charles smiled and trotted off. “You coming Will?” he called over his shoulder.
“Someone needs to stay and give Adanna her lessons.”

My breath came in gasps, my lungs and muscles burning with the effort.
“I think that’s enough for tonight. The others should be returning from the hunt soon.”
“Just one more try. I’ve almost got it.”
I saw reluctance and when I didn’t back down, grudging acceptance. He nodded, giving me permission to try again.
I closed my eyes, letting the picture of a wolf fill my thoughts. On a whim I decided to try something a little different. I not only pictured myself in wolf form, but I tried to remember the sensations, the sights, the sounds, the smells I experienced when I had first shifted. I strained my senses, trying to regain what I had felt.
The pain began, as it always did, but this time it disappeared sooner. I opened my eyes to see a wide eyed Sir William staring down at me.
“You did it.” It was barely audible.
Looking down, I saw he was right. I had shifted. Instead of booted feet I saw paws.
When I looked back up Sir William was standing before me in his wolf form. His dark coat glowed almost white from the light of the moon. He moved toward me slowly, his eyes never leaving mine. Our noses touched, then he surprised me by licking my ear. Jumping back playfully, he barked. If a wolf could smile, he would have been.
I barked back, playfully snapping at his tail as he turned and ran the other direction.
Twenty minutes later we were lying next to each other on the ground, panting. Sir William moved away, returning to his human form.
“Time to shift back, Adanna.”
It was a little more difficult to shift this time. The pain wasn’t so bad, but exhaustion once again hit me.
Sir William had to carry me back to the cave as he had the night before.
“You’ll need to sleep for a while. Two shifts in one night is going to take it’s toll. Don’t worry about getting up until you feel rested.”
Naturally the pack had returned before us, so they witnessed Sir William’s chivalry in carrying me back. Whispered words of “mated” followed us to the back of the cave and I wished I could disappear. Charles and Ty even threw a few suggestive comments our direction, just for our discomfort.
I felt my cheeks flare up and I avoided eye contact with everyone, especially Sir William. I wished I could have been more like him, brushing off the comments and stares as insignificant.
Laying me gently in the sleeping furs, he sat back against the wall and closed his eyes as he did every night.
My eyes were heavy with exhaustion and I was beginning to drift into unconsciousness when I remembered something.
“Sir William?”
“Hmm?”
“What do I look like as a wolf?”
I heard him sigh softly in the darkness.
“Your fur is the same color as your hair. It glows fiery red in the sunlight, just like your--”
His abrupt silence sent a chill down my spine.
“Just like your hair.” It was an awkward substitution for what he had meant to say, though I wasn’t sure exactly what it was.
“Sleep.”
I heard him shift his position and his breathing begin to deepen and lengthen as he slipped into the world of dreams.
Though my body demanded rest, my mind wouldn’t be still as it reviewed Sir William’s answer, trying to decipher what he had been about to say.
Come dawn I was still awake and paying for my incessant curiosity. My body, which had been sore, was now aching, my muscles stiffening and clenching. I couldn’t see them, but I knew my eyes were red and puffy. I had to look a wreck.
My suspicions were confirmed when Sir William finally stirred. He took one look at me and told me I would be staying in bed for the day.
“What on earth possessed you to stay up all night when you obviously needed rest?”
“I couldn’t sleep.” It was a pitiful excuse and I refused to tell him the reason behind my insomnia.
“Couldn’t sleep? You shifted twice last night, twice. You should have slept for two whole days.”
Had I not been so stiff I would have shrugged my shoulders, attempting nonchalance. As it were, I couldn’t and my lack of reaction evoked an interesting reaction in Sir William.
He started pacing, as if helpless. “What were you thinking?” He turned on me, pointing a finger. “Get to sleep.”
Charles appeared, rolling up his sleeves. “What’s all the ruckus so early in the morning?” He stopped dead in his tracks when his eyes settled on me. “What happened?”
Had I been able, I would have gotten up to protest. But as it was, I couldn’t even sit up.
“She shifted last night. Twice. And she’s been up all night, hasn’t slept a wink from the look of her.”
“You shifted?” Charles looked surprised, but pleased. “That was quick.”
Sir William strode over to his brother and whacked the back of his head. “She’s been up all night after two shifts, or didn’t you hear me? She needs sleep.”
“Alright, alright. I’m getting.” He leaned down and kissed my forehead before whispering in my ear. “We’ll make you a wolfen yet, little Kira.”
Sir William stepped up and stood towering over me. “Sleep.”
“I can’t.” It was no longer a busy mind that kept me awake. I wouldn’t have been able to relax even had my life depended on it.
“And pray tell, why not? You shouldn’t even be able to open your eyes, let alone hold a coherent conversation.”
“I can’t move. Everything’s stiff and sore.”
Sir William sighed, I imagine, in a mixture of frustration and surrender.
“How long has it been like this?”
“A few hours maybe?”
He knelt beside the sleeping furs. “You should have woken me instead of letting it get this bad.”
I mumbled an apology before he carefully turned me onto my stomach. His fingers slowly worked the tension from my muscles and I began to feel myself relax.
“Just out of curiosity, what kept you up?” His voice was soft and close to my ear, barely registering through the haze of sleep.
“An answer I needed to find.”
“What answer?”
I mumbled something, but what, I wasn’t sure.

Unsure of how long I had slept, I sat up and rubbed the sleep from my eyes. It was dark and the cave was silent. The pack was probably out on another hunt.
A search of the surrounding area proved fruitless. Neither Sir William nor Charles had remained behind as they usually did. I reasoned they must have expected me to sleep for a while longer.
I sat around for an hour, waiting for someone to return. When that didn’t happen I started walking. I found myself at the south end of the canyon, at the edge of the forest I had fled to when I had first discovered my wolfen heritage.
They looked peaceful and inviting in the bright moonlight. I decided a venture into the woods couldn’t hurt anything. Then a thought struck me, an ingenious thought. If I shifted I could cover more ground and I was sure it would be safer. What might bother a human wouldn’t dare bother a wolf.
I went through the relaxation and visualization techniques I had begun to perfect and was soon in wolf form. The sights and sounds of the forest were amplified as I wandered the maze of trees. I smelled scents I had never come across, I sensed the presence of more creatures than I had realized lived in the forest.
I felt the thrill of the run. It felt like I could go on for ages. I had never felt so free or so ecstatic. The effect was like that of a drug.
Slowing at the appearance of a strange scent, I stopped for further investigation.
I froze when two glowing white orbs appeared in the darkness.
Charles?



Chapter 12
Foretelling
A wolf stepped out of the shadows, but it was not Charles. Too late I noticed his eyes were not the ice white of Charles’, but pure, blank white. This wolf was blind.
Fear not, young wolfen, I mean you no harm.
His voice was in my head. How could this be?
Long have I wandered these forests in search of answers. And on this night, the night of my passing, the answers I have sought these many years appear before my eyes.
It was odd, having a voice besides my own in my head.
I do not understand your words, wise one. I spoke as he did, hoping he could hear my voice as I heard his.
He was obviously very old, nearing the end of his days. His silver-grey coat, which must have once been magnificent, now only shone with a dull luster in the moonlight.
I have been waiting for you, Far Sighted. You are the answer to all my questions, the end of my quest. I have waited these long years to deliver a message.
I know of no one who would wish to leave a message for one such as me. You must be mistaken. I am not the one you seek, old man.
A man I am no longer, young one. Have you not been taught the wolfen ways? We are born human, we die wolf. My time is at hand and I shall never again regain the form of man.
The old wolfen had lain down, panting as if he had just run a long distance.
These things I have not yet been taught, wise one. I was raised apart from our people, in ignorance.
Then you have much to learn before you can take upon yourself the responsibilities and burdens that are yours by right to bear. Come and I will speak to you of the wolfen ways.
He rose and led the way deeper into the forest. He began to weave a tale of myth and legend, a tale that hadn’t been heard for ages.
The wolfen are the eldest of the children of the earth. We were his first children, his first and greatest creation. To us was given the responsibility of steward over these earthly realms. We teach, we heal, we sacrifice, we rule. Our lives are measured by the deeds we perform, the sacrifices we make. There are those who forsook their responsibility and took the easy path. For this they were fated to live as dumb creatures, forgetting their heritage and their purpose. They are the wolves that roam the land this way and that, never finding what it is they are searching for, never knowing what it is they seek. Then there are those who sought to leave behind the animal within themselves and find a better path. They thought they knew better than the one who had created them. They forsook half of who they were, forever incomplete. They search, but for a different reason than the wolf. They search for themselves, never completely finding themselves.
Chills tingled against my skin. Humans and wolves were cousins? I never would have imagined such a thing were possible.
Those who remained true are your forefathers. They paved the way for your generation. Long have the wolfen remembered the tales of their fathers and honored their responsibilities, but no longer. Few remain that remember their true purpose. Most have been corrupted by the greed and vanity of man. They seek power and riches. Their hearts have been blackened by their wicked ways.
You must not forget, little wolfen. For the day that you forget, is the day this world is doomed. Remember, remember the folly of your father and dare to fight against such influences. Dare to take up your mantle and lead.
His words were spoken with a weak voice, but their power echoed through the night.
I feel the wisdom in your words, old one, but I do not know the path to take. I still cannot believe I am the one you search for. Who am I to lead?
You are key, little wolfen. Only you can unite the wolfen once more and teach them the ways of old. Only you can bring them together. It is a lonely path ahead. Too much pain and sorrow lie ahead for one so young. Too much sacrifice…
A warning sounded in my head. A feeling that he spoke of a specific sacrifice made me ask.
Sacrifice?
One close to you will sacrifice himself for your sake, for the sake of his people, his kingdom. He will play the servant of fate, giving all for the one who rules his heart.
No. No one will die for me. I won’t allow it.
You cannot stop it, little one.
The future is not certain.
You do not sound so sure.
It can’t be so.
It is true that no future is certain, things can change, but this will not. It can be no other way, for any other way leads to destruction. It is the choice between one and many. Will you sacrifice thousands for your one, or will you give up your one for the good of many?
Falling to my knees, I waited to wake up from this dream. That’s what it had to be, a dream. Soon I’d wake up back in the cave. Sir William would be sitting against the wall, sleeping. But I didn’t wake up. I never would.
When I looked up the old wolf was gone, though his voice whispered softly in my mind.
Fate rarely deals us easy, pleasant tasks. We must take what we are given and do all we can. Just remember, little one, you carry the fate of us all.
My fists clenched. What right had fate to rule my life? Who said I had to sit back and take what I was given? Fine. If I couldn’t stay, I would leave. If I couldn’t laugh, I would cry. If I couldn’t love, I would hate.
As fiery anger raced through my veins, I felt the pains as I shifted from human to wolf. No one would tell me how to live my life.
I felt the thrill of the run, the rage, the ecstasy of taking hold of my own destiny.
Dawn colored the eastern horizon, but I raced west. I raced against the sun, longing for endless night. The sun only brought hope, a hope I refused to feel. Darkness and despair were my domain, anger and hatred my fuel, pain and fear my path.
I could see the end of the forest, the endless plain ahead. Breaking through the line of trees, something solid knocked me off my feet, sending me sprawling into the thick prairie grasses.
I stood only to find Ty, in his wolf form, blocking my path. The rage still had hold of my mind and everything burned blood red.
Going somewhere, little wolf?
Get out of my way.
He stood his ground, neither giving nor taking ground.
I see you’ve learned the Voice. How’d you manage that?
I bared my teeth and snarled, unwilling to turn back, no matter who blocked my path.
Move before I make you.
Threatening now are we? Are you sure you can follow through on that?
I snapped, breaking skin on his muzzle. A trail of blood stained the fur where I had bitten.
I don’t want to fight you, but I will if you won’t let me pass.
Funny, I don’t wish to fight you either, little wolf, but I cannot let you pass.
You cannot force me to stay.
Try me.
He was serious. He bared his teeth and let out a deep growl. The haze brought on from anger cleared a little when I saw the determination and drive behind his unwavering gaze. I felt a trickle of fear travel up my spine, not fear of Ty, but fear of having to return. That fear made me desperate and desperation lent me strength and speed.
Ty was an experienced fighter in wolf form, but I had an edge. I used the anger, the fear, the hatred. I drew blood multiple times, on his head, his legs, and torso. I was forcing him to fight harder and it wasn’t long before I felt the sting of my own wounds.
We were both tiring. Exertion did little to lessen my rage, it seemed only to amplify it. My teeth closed around Ty’s scruff and I pulled him to the ground. Standing over him, I locked my teeth at his throat. I applied enough pressure to keep him in place and let him know I was serious, but not enough to puncture the flesh.
Yield.
Never.
Yield!
Or what? Will you kill me, little one, and dirty your hands? Have you ever killed before? It’s not a pretty thing. You’ll live the rest of your life with that image in your mind. It’ll drive you mad, little one.
He was right. The thought of killing sickened me. I released him and ran before he had the chance to stop me. I never looked back, not once. I knew that if I did, it would have power over me, hold me there.
I don’t know how long I ran, how many miles passed beneath my feet. Hours, days, weeks, they passed but had no meaning. I drilled my mind in hate, in despair, never relenting in my quest to purge all light and hope from my mind. If it was there then fate would entangle me within its web once more, I was sure.
I rarely stopped for food or water, but when I did I shifted to human form. My wolf form wouldn’t have liked the taste of plants and roots and I hadn’t learned enough to hunt my own game.
I could feel my strength waning as my body grew ever weaker. Finally deciding it was time to stop and regain the strength I had lost, I shifted. I had come upon a fresh spring which was bordered by some kind of fruit trees.
From the look of it, humans probably used this place to refresh their water supply during their travels, though the tracks were old enough I deemed it safe enough. The first thing I did was eat. I picked some of the fruit from the trees and cooked roots from a plant that grew plentifully around the spring.
When my stomach was filled to overflowing I shed my clothes and jumped into the icy water. It felt wonderful after the oppressive heat of the day. I let all the dirt and grime of the road wash away. I gave my hair a good scrubbing before the cold told me it was time to take my leave of the small pool.
Parting the rushes, I reached for my clothes.
“What have we here?”
“A little stray kitten, it looks like.”
Two grimy, travel worn men stood a few feet from the spring, grinning wickedly.
Anger flared. “I am no kitten.”
I shifted, showing them my wolfen form. Let them run in fear.
To my annoyance they drew swords. The stench of fear radiated from their already foul smelling bodies. I realized they probably would have run if they could, but they were frozen in terror and surprise. Only reflex had let them draw their weapons.
The larger of the two finally regained some of his sense and stepped forward, swinging in one fluid motion. Whoever they were, they were fairly trained.
Dodging the man’s blow, I snapped at the two as I ran past. Too late I realized I had left my clothes back at the spring. Sure, it didn’t matter while I was in this form, but it would be troublesome when I wanted to shift back.
Determining there was nothing left to do, I searched for the nearest homestead. It was dark by the time I came across a dwelling. The lights were out and everything was silent. I kept to the shadows, though the moon was only a sliver in the night sky.
Luck was with me. A line of clothes was hung outside the house. A quick go over revealed nothing but men’s and boy’s clothes. I snagged a couple that might fit and turned to the barn to change.
“Don’t usually get too many thieves out this far.”
A growl was instantly in my throat as I faced down a giant of a man.
“Father? What’s-- A wolf! I’ve never seen a wolf out here before.”
I let my eyes stray momentarily to the boy. He looked to be about twelve and a younger version of his father.
“Go inside, son.”
“But I want to talk to her.”
“Inside.”
The boy complied reluctantly.
“Now, what’s a pretty girl like you doing out here all alone?”
I thought it a bit odd that he spoke to a wolf when a wolf would never speak back, or typically wouldn’t, I mentally corrected. I let out another growl, warning him to keep a safe distance from my teeth.
“Now, now. Calm down, I don’t mean to hurt you. I’d like to help if I can.”
I leapt back when he bent over, groaning in pain. Then, where a man had stood was a wolf as giant as the man.
I told you, I just want to help.



Chapter 13
Fate’s Tangled Web
The man, now wolf, led me to the house, entreating me to follow. I sensed no hostility in his eyes, nor any ulterior motives to his kindness so I followed. He led me to a near empty room, with only a bed and small table lying in a corner.
You may dress here, little wolf.
My mind cringed at the familiar nickname that seemed to follow me from my previous companions. I thanked him as he shifted and lighted a candle and lay it on the table and left, closing the door softly behind him.
I quickly changed into the too large breeches and tunic. As I finished and sat down to roll up the cuffs of the sleeves on the shirt the door squeaked a protest as it inched open. Two small, gleaming eyes appeared at the level of the door handle.
I smiled, though I didn’t feel very friendly at the moment. The children at the monastery had been a curse and a blessing to watch after, but they gave me experience at the very least.
“Joren, go back to bed. You need not trouble our guest with your curiosities.” The boy obeyed with head down and bottom lip pouting.
The father stepped around his son, opening the door a little wider to admit himself. “I’m Steven.“ He held out a hand, which I accepted after a moment.
“Adanna.”
“I’m sorry if I startled you earlier. I’ve found it’s easier to talk to a frightened wolfen when in wolfen form myself. You don’t get attacked so easily that way.” He chuckled softly then turned his eyes back to me. “So what has you on the run?”
“I never said I was on the run,” I snapped defensively. Great, if he hadn’t believed it before, he did now.
“So what is it? The law, humans, or your pack? I will not harbor a criminal.”
Raising my eyes to meet his I was firm with my reply. “I am no criminal and it matters not what I run from. It is in the past and I refuse to return.”
“The pack then.” My reaction told him he had hit the target. “The law and humans would make you nervous and flighty. You’re neither, only angry and afraid.”
“I don’t care what I am,” I snapped. I instantly regretted it. He had been kind to me, though I had stolen from him, or had attempted to steal from him. “I can’t go back.” I would explain no more, even if he pushed for answers.
“Alright, little one. I ask for no explanations as long as no one comes to hunt us down because we extended a hand of friendship to you. Get some sleep, we can talk more in the morning.”
Once again he closed the door, leaving only the flickering candle for companionship.
Curling up on the bed, I allowed my mind to wander. Steven and Joren were good, a good I hadn’t seen in many, human or wolfen. Their unquestioning kindness and service left me speechless. Anyone less would have demanded to know who I was and where I hailed from and why I had been running.
As thoughts of Steven and his son occupied my mind, another man crept into my head. Sir William was another of those rare individuals. He gave without thought of reward.
The flickering of the candle disappeared, replaced by darkness. Had the candle been blown out? I felt a breeze on my skin and the smell of wilderness. I looked around to see, not the room I lay in, but the open sky filled with millions of stars and a small sliver of moon. A forest lay fifty yards away.
My mind rejected the impossible. I couldn’t be back. I vowed I would never return.
Movement at the edge of the trees caught my attention. I moved closer to find Ty, Sir William, and Charles pacing.
“It’s been three weeks, Charles. She’s not coming back.” Sir William seemed the most restless of the three. “She’s consumed in anger and hate. She won’t let anything in.”
“I thought she’d come back,” Charles replied, downtrodden. “What did she have to run from?” He turned to Ty.
“Hey, don’t look at me friend. I just happened to be in the right place at the right time--or maybe it was the wrong time and place to be. That little wolf gave me quite the beating.”
“And she never said anything?” Sir William questioned.
“We’ve gone over this a thousand times, she said naught but to get out of her way and when I refused she threatened me with decapitation.” Charles threw a glare his direction. “Okay maybe not that drastic, but she did threaten me. She wasn’t gonna let anything or anyone stop ‘er. She looked afraid, very afraid.”
“We’re going after her.” Sir William turned to face the open plain in the direction I had fled. “She’s terrified, I can feel it.”
Sir William took a step forward when Ty moved to block him. “Did it ever occur to you that maybe it’s you she’s frightened of? She only started lookin’ afraid when I told her I wasn’t gonna let ’er leave.”
Sir William’s voice was taught with anger, his fists clenched tightly at his sides. “She has nothing to fear from me, she knows that.”
“Perhaps it is not fear of you, but fear for you,” Ty suggested quietly.
Charles added his thoughts to the pile. “What if she encountered the humans again, the ones hunting us?”
“It makes no sense,” Sir William ground his teeth in frustration at being unable to solve the puzzle. “She would have come to warn us and we would have all fled together.”
“Mayhap she was leading them away from you.”
“For what purpose, Ty? They could easily split their group, sending one after her and the rest after us, she knows that.”
I crept up further against my will. I didn’t want to be closer, I wanted to be as far from them as possible, especially him.
“None of our scenarios match her behavior. Perhaps we are looking in the wrong direction. Maybe we should be looking inward, not outward, for the enemy,” Ty stated matter-of-factly.
“It still makes no sense. If she or any of us were in danger from someone within our circle, she would have warned us,” Charles protested.
“You’re not looking far enough in, friend. What if the enemy was closer than one of her friends? What if the enemy was her?”
“Ridiculous. Adanna couldn’t hurt anyone.”
You’re right, young prince. Adanna could never hurt anyone purposefully. She fled to protect you from herself.
I was horrified to find myself in the midst of my three friends, the voice coming from my lips, though it sounded foreign. It was the Voice of the wolfen; I spoke to their minds words I couldn’t control.
“Wise one?” Ty stepped forward and knelt before me. “You have roamed these forests for many years refusing to show yourself to any being, human, wolf, or wolfen. Why do you come to us now?”
It has been my burden to await the Far Sighted one and give her a message. She fled after I had finished.
“Why? What did you tell her?” Sir William demanded anger leaking into his words.
She runs not from my words, but from the fate that holds her to her destiny. She wishes to be rid of it and thus be rid of your fate as well. She fears the calamity that shall fall upon those she loves if she allows fate to guide her path.
Sir William growled in frustration. “I’m going after her. I can’t let her--”
She runs from you, young prince. She will not be swayed from her flight, not by anyone.
“You can’t know that. We’re bonded. She’ll listen to me. She has to,” he whispered the last phrase as if trying to convince himself of that fact.
She is terrified to be near you, terrified that she will be the cause of your death. You know this, young prince. You feel what she feels, the bond has united your spirits. If you do not believe that she will flee your presence, ask her yourself. She resides within my mind this very moment.
The three men stared at me with incredulous expressions plastered to their faces.
“How?” Sir William managed to choke out.
I cannot tell you how for I do not know myself. I only know she can. Does her name not translate in the ancient wolfen tongue as Far Sighted?
Charles was the first to step closer and peer into my--the old wolf’s--eyes. “Adanna? We want you to come back. We’re worried about you.”
The walls I had so carefully and strenuously built around my heart began to tremble and quake. I couldn’t let them fall, I couldn’t let myself feel.
“Can she speak through you, wise one?” Charles asked the old wolf respectfully.
Perhaps one day she might learn, but not now. I doubt she would even if she could. She’s hardened her heart against you. She refuses all feeling except anger and hate.
Sir William urged Charles aside and took his place before me. He looked back to the others and they turned and walked a few paces away. He turned back and I was shocked to see the emotion filling his eyes. If I hadn’t known better I would have thought those were tears in his eyes. “Adanna, I hate being so far from you, it‘s torture. I need you to come back. I want you to come back.”
He stopped. Why? If he was waiting for me to answer he shouldn’t hold his breath. Then I realized he was measuring my feelings to see if he had broken through. He knew what I felt through this bond the old wolf had spoken of. Well let him feel this. I poured out all the anger and hate I had been building up over the weeks. I mentally pushed them at him, my blood beginning to boil in rage.
He sighed. “I know you’re scared, but I promise nothing’s going to happen. Please. Please, I can’t stand this feeling.”
I let rage consume my mind. Picturing my teeth tearing into his flesh, I was jolted out of my episode when Sir William leapt back, blood soaking his forearm. He wasted no time, grabbing the old wolf and restraining him. “I won’t let you go, Adanna. I’ll hunt you down myself if it comes to that. I will find you,” he hissed into my ear.
His words left a fissure in my wall, but I refused to let it remain. I built anew, repairing the damage and strengthening my fortitude.
I had controlled the wise one though I had not meant to. The thread of control was gone, but I remembered what it had felt like. Searching, I found it once more and fought against his will. It was a hard battle and finally I lost. The wise one’s mind was not as frail as his body.
You can release me, my prince. She no longer controls my body. I was foolish to believe she couldn’t effect me. I let my guard down, but I promise it will never happen again.
“Is she still here?”
She is.
“You better run, little wolfen. You don’t want to know what I’m going to do to you when I find you. I won’t give you up so easily.”
His rage was so strong it echoed through my very core.
Sir William rose, shifted and started running for the distant horizon.
Charles ran forward a few steps. “Where are you going Will?”
I hunt.
I heard Charles chuckle, then shift. Wolves never hunt alone.
This prey is mine, brother. I must ask you to stay behind. There are some unpleasant words we must exchange and I would prefer they be in private. I would not ask this of you if it were not necessary. I know how you feel toward her and if not for our bond I would gladly relent any claim, but I can’t. I am ashamed to say I cannot do my duty in that respect.
You need not be ashamed, brother. I gave up my claim the night of your bonding. No man could compete against such an advantage. Good hunting.
Sir William disappeared into the darkness, Charles and Ty into the wood, leaving me alone in the mind of the wise one.
I suggest you take your prince’s advice and run. You won’t escape him for long. He is determined to bring you back, with or without your cooperation.
I won’t return; I won’t let another die in my place.
Fate does not so easily concede. You fight a battle you cannot win.
I refused to let the old wolf’s words effect my resolve. I pushed against his presence and found myself back in the room. The candle had flickered out sometime during the night and now dawn caressed the horizon.
I tip-toed out into the hall and to the kitchen. Grabbing a bag, I stuffed it full of food, silently apologizing to Steven and Joren. I turned, trying to think of anything else I might need when I slammed into something solid and fell to the ground, the contents of the bag spilling across the floor.
“I thought we’d cured you of thievery, little wolf.” Steven stood, all six foot seven of his massive bulk blocking my escape.

Steven sat at the table, his fingers drumming on it’s rough surface. “I do believe you’re in a fix, little wolf.”
“Apparently Fate is not so easily put off,” I gritted my teeth, letting the frustration show through in my voice.
“Fate is not the stiff oak rod you believe it to be. It is as flexible as a willow branch. You try running from it but it follows. Have you ever thought of bending Fate to your own will? You rule it instead of it ruling you.”
I tried to process his reasoning. As I had seen Fate, it couldn’t be escaped, no matter how hard I fought, no matter where I ran, no matter what I wanted, I was always in its clutches. What if Fate wasn’t the sticky spider web I had imagined? What if Fate was a river, a river that could be forded and conquered? Most people learned from a young age that we were helpless to fight Fate. We were defenseless against its powerful current, swept this way and that, driven wherever it chose. Perhaps most people were that way because they believed they were. What if you had a boat and could control where your destination lay?
Standing, I took Steven’s hand and expressed my thanks.
“Where are you going?”
“Wherever I choose.”



Chapter 14
Loyalties
The days I spent running toward King’s Canyon were spent deep in thought. I pondered all the words of the wise one. When I remembered the sacrifice he had spoken of the fear returned, but I refused to let it take control. I would make my own destiny and no one would get hurt along the way.
I passed familiar landmarks and wondered how it had come to this. How could I be such a selfish coward? At the slightest hint of danger I fled. I had let my fear control my actions. I determined then and there never to let fear rule me again.
I ran myself into the ground before I stopped to rest. It was dark and no moon or stars shone tonight. The rain had been pouring for hours and I was soaked through. I found meager shelter beneath a small, bent juniper tree and instantly fell into a dreamless slumber.
I was woken sometime before dawn at a crackle in the underbrush. From the sound, I believed it to be a human. If I was right one of two things would happen, he would fight or he would flee. Determining it was far safer to be in human form I shifted, pulling the dagger Steven had given me from its sheath at my belt.
A dark form appeared through the sagebrush, imposing in the darkness. I held the dagger ready.
His eyes fixed on me, the man moved forward warily.
“What do you want, stranger?”
He was slow and deliberate in his reply. “I told you I wouldn’t give you up, Adanna.”
Before I could react, he leapt forward, wrestled the dagger from my hand and threw me over his shoulder. Somehow this seemed familiar.
I pounded on his back. “Put me down, you big---oohf.” He had dropped me on my backside against the tree. He towered over me until he knelt, placing one large hand against the tree above me and rested the other on his knee.
“I’m taking you back and that’s the end of it. You can make things easy and walk on your own, or I can carry you the whole way. You choose.”
I opened my mouth to speak when he leaned in and gently pressed his lips against mine, silencing any response I was about to give.
He pulled back letting his head fall to my shoulder. My breath was shallow and fast, my heart beating wildly against my chest.
“Don’t you ever do that to me again.” He spoke so softly I barely understood his words.
“Wh-” I couldn’t force the words out. Why had he done that? Things were too complicated as they were. Was he trying to make me go mad? He’d never shown any feelings toward me before. If anything, he’d done anything to avoid them. Only grudgingly had he accepted any kind of friendship from me.
“I’m sorry,” his head still lay on my shoulder. “I shouldn’t confuse you like this.”
I’d say. I wasn’t sure I could take any other surprises.
Sir William shifted his position, turning so he could sit close beside me, a little too close.
“Adanna,” I felt his hand close around mine, and wished he hadn’t done that. I was still trying to figure everything else out and this didn’t help. “There are some things I’ve neglected to tell you. Some you may have already guessed, but I have to be clear. I can’t keep them hidden.”
I nodded in understanding, promising my silence until he had finished.
“The truth is, I‘ve had feelings for you for a long time. It started the night I woke and nearly rung your neck.” He chuckled at the memory. I looked at him in disbelief. Surely not. “I knew who you were the minute I opened my eyes, maybe even before. The wolfen smell was so strong. I had to fight myself from the beginning, I couldn’t let myself feel that way toward you. When Sir Alden asked me to take you away I panicked. I couldn’t take you, not when I hadn’t fully suppressed my feelings, but the situation forced me to do otherwise. To control myself and to banish you from my mind I treated you cruelly. I pretended to believe you were a boy, it was… easier that way.”
A chill crept up my spine. How could he have hidden this for so long? I’d thought him indifferent in the beginning, even hostile.
“Then you were taken captive and . You don’t know how long I beat myself up over that, over all of this. I heard you screaming and couldn’t keep myself back. I came at the worse possible time. You were shifting and it was I, not Charles who was there. You see, wolfen bond when they experience their first change. Often times a wolfen will bond with a family member, a good friend, or their betrothed as should have been the case with you and Charles.”
“The wise one spoke of the bond.”
“Yes. Tell me Adanna, what do you feel when we are apart?”
I balked at answering the question, knowing I could be revealing something best kept hidden.
I finally decided on an answer that seemed safe enough. “Empty.”
“And you started feeling that emptiness at my absence the night after your first shift, right?” I thought back and realized he was right. I’d never made the connection. “You must have also noticed you can feel what I feel. We can feel and influence the other’s emotions.”
Influence? “Did you…?”
“Your decision to come here was your own. I have never taken advantage of the bond.” I sighed inwardly. I don’t think I could have tolerated his messing with my head. “The bond is powerful and can only be broken by death. It draws the two bonded individuals together, sometimes even against their will. It amplifies any feelings one person has toward the other.”
“And if you are bonded to a stranger?”
“It depends on who the stranger is. In some cases they will fall in love and marry, which is often the case, or they will become the greatest of friends. In rare cases they may become the greatest of enemies.”
I looked questioningly in his direction. “I thought the bond brought people together.”
“It does. We have a story of one such instance. There were two warring packs. A young, female wolfen from the northern pack sought revenge on the southern pack for killing her parents. She hunted them in the wood. Rage had taken hold of her heart which triggered her first shift. It happened that a male of the southern pack stumbled upon her and comforted her through her transformation. When she woke the next morning to find a southern pack member lying beside her, she was outraged. She tried to kill him, but he managed to escape. She sought him ever after that. He stayed just beyond her reach, loving her from a distance until one day his patience ran out. Confronting her, he tried to explain he had separated from the pack long ago and that he had nothing to do with the crimes she accused him of. He never got the chance to explain, for her arrow pierced his heart before he could utter a single word.”
“The woman had hunted him for years, yet after the arrow had pierced his flesh she fell to the ground before him in grief. His last words sealed her fate. ’I love you still’. Her heart, which she thought had broken long ago, was bleeding afresh. She took an arrow from her quiver and followed her enemy in death.”
I sniffed back tears. Were all wolfen stories so tragic?
“But why would she kill herself even if he did confess his love for her. She hated him and the bond amplified that hate.”
Sir William squeezed my hand gently. “Because there is such a fine line between hate and love. She never realized she could love him so much, though she hated him. She would rather face death than live life without her bond mate.”
“I haven’t decided whether it’s a good or bad thing.”
Sir William smiled. “Most bond mates don’t hate each other. They live long, happy lives. And when one dies, the other soon follows to be together in the afterlife.”
My hand was still in his, his warmth soothing my fears of the future. I thought that if he was near, I could face any fear. Surely the wise one’s words could be changed. It had to be possible.
“Hey.” Sir William lifted my chin, but I refused to meet his eyes. I couldn’t lose him, not now after all he’d told me. If only I was strong enough to tell him all that was hidden in my own heart. But I wasn’t, I was weak. Fear still had me in its cold clutches.
“It’s going to be alright, Adanna.”
“I hope so,” I whispered. The effects of the past three weeks of training myself to hate, to despair were hard to reverse. It was nearly impossible to let myself hope.
He kissed me softly then pulled back to stare sternly into my eyes. “I know so.”
Sir William pulled me against his chest. “Sleep, you’re exhausted.”
His warmth kept the chill away, wrapping me in a warm blanket of peace. Sleep eluded me as I thought over everything we had discussed. I finally came to a conclusion. There was something I had to do.
Sir William woke two hours after dawn. I had waited up all night, my nerves growing more ragged and frayed as the time approached.
“What’s wrong Adanna?” He had obviously picked up on my nervous energy and it was scaring him.
“There’s something I have to do.”
His eyebrows pulled together in confusion then rose in astonishment as I knelt before him. “Adanna, no--”
“Please, Sir William. I have to do this.”
He fell silent, but I saw the reluctance in his eyes.
“I have been a selfish coward and there is little I can do to make up for that.” He tried to protest once more but I raised a hand, silencing him. “You are my prince and I owe you my obedience and my loyalty. I kneel before you and make a vow. As long as you wish it, I will remain at your side, under your service. My life is yours.”
Sir William fell to his knees, wrapping his arms around me. “No, I cannot accept, Adanna. Your life is your own.”
I pulled back to look him in the eyes. “It is all I have to offer. Please, you must.”
My hands shook as his fingers interlocked with mine. I was surprised to feel his trembling slightly as well. When I searched I felt his nervous energy.
“On one condition.” I waited to hear what his condition was, tense. His trembling hands grew worse. “Marry me.”
Those two words sent such a shock through me that I couldn’t think or respond. I tried to sort through my feelings. Were they so strong? Is this what I wanted? I knew the answer without having to ask. They were, and I did. I searched deeper, looking to see if it was the heightened effect of the bond that made it so clear and right. It had some effect, but I realized, like we had discussed last night, it only amplified my feelings. It didn’t make me love him.
I realized Sir William had started speaking again. “I don’t want you to do this because of the bond, Adanna. I want you to do this because you want to. If your feelings lie elsewhere I will understand. I won’t hold you back.”
I knew from the tortured expression on his face that he was thinking of his brother.
I couldn’t meet his gaze. My answer only came in a whisper. “I--”
“Wait.” He pressed two fingers against my lips. “You have to know. You have to know that I plan to fight for the throne. I will unite the people and take my place as king. If you accept, you will one day be queen. Keep that in mind.” The muscles in Sir William’s jaw tightened. “And I have to tell you that I cannot allow the Barbarian king to live. I will kill your father, Adanna.”
I took a moment to gather the right words before I answered. “He is no father of mine. His injustices sicken me. My true father lives in a monastery, not a castle, he heals, not murders.” Now came the hardest part. I let one of my hands slide out of his, reach up and lift a stray hair out of his eyes. It was only one word, but it was impossible to get out. “Yes.”
Sir William looked like he hadn’t heard.
“Yes,” I repeated, a little louder.
He released my hand and caressed the side of my neck. Pulling me closer, he touched my lips gently to his, hesitant at first. Pulling me forward again, his lips lingered as his kiss deepened.
I touched his cheeks when he pulled away and discovered tears.
“If I truly loved you, I wouldn’t ask this of you. It’s too dangerous. But I can’t let you go. I should. By rights I have no claim on you. It was supposed to be Charles. He loves you, you know. He hides it well, but he’s loved you for years. I should be a better brother. The throne should be his, he is far more suited to its responsibilities and pressures.”
His guilt was heavy on my heart. He was suffering.
“I chose you, William. I love Charles--” His head shot up. “Like a brother,” I finished. “I could never be the wife he deserves. This is my decision to make and I choose you. There is no one I’d rather share my life with.”
Our talk had tired us. We decided it would be wise to rest another day before moving on. We hunted together, ate together, and laughed together. As night fell William insisted on sleeping at arms length.
“I don’t wish to sully the future queen’s reputation,” he explained.


Chapter 15
Cain and Abel
A few days later we arrived at King’s Canyon to a warm welcome. Charles swept me up in a huge bear hug, nearly crushing me to death. Each of the pack came forward to greet me in his or her own way. I got hand shakes from some, kisses on the cheek from a couple, and hugs from the two female members. Ty was the only one bold enough to kiss my hand and hold my gaze before sweeping me into a warm, lengthy embrace. William cleared his throat, warning Ty to keep it short.
The pack eventually wandered off, back to whatever activities had occupied them before we arrived. Only Ty, Charles, William, and I remained. William was looking at his brother in guilt. He knew what had to be done and he feared and hated the task ahead of him.
I would have gladly relieved William of this duty, but I knew it was best they settle this alone. Sliding my arm around Ty’s, I led him away with the excuse of needing something to eat. Looking back, I saw them disappearing into the trees.
We were walking toward he cave when Ty stopped abruptly and sat down against the wall of the canyon. “So, young Will has finally made his move. I do not envy his task of telling his brother, nor Charles for having to hear it. The world will be dimmer without your smile.”
“I’m not dead, Ty.” I sat down beside him, bumping against his shoulder.
“But with you two mated and he bein’ prince and all, you’ll surely leave. My days will never be the same. Nights will be torture, filled with dreams of you.”
His knee bumped against mine and I bumped it back. “Well this frees you up to find a pretty little wolfen for yourself, then.”
“No. There will be no other for me, only you. What torture it shall be to see my queen seated upon her throne and know she could have been mine.” He stared wistfully to the sky. “Adanna?”
My vision had gone blurry. The rock walls of the canyon were replaced with the towering trees of a forest. The shadows played tricks with my sight. Charles was walking ahead of me, his movements making little sound in the underbrush.
He stopped and turned. “Where are we going William? Why don’t you just have it out?”
William’s apprehension overwhelmed me. He didn’t want to do this, didn’t want to hurt his brother. It took him a while to gather up enough courage.
It’s alright, William. I’m here. I spoke to his mind, hoping my words reached him.
I fear for his heart, Adanna. He won’t recover from my betrayal so easily.
I fear for him too. But there is no other way. It would be cruel to hide it from him.
You’re right, but it doesn’t make me feel any better about what I have to do.
“Charles there is something I have to tell you, though it isn’t easy.” William took a deep breath then plunged in. “It’s about Adanna and I.”
“She has admitted feelings for you?”
William cleared his throat uncomfortably. “Not in so many words.” Eyebrows knit together, Charles looked at his brother in confusion. “I proposed, Charles, a few days ago on our way back.”
“And Adanna accepted.”
William could only nod.
A small, derisive chuckle escaped Charles’ lips. “I was a fool to ever hope. I wish you every happiness, brother.” There was no true conviction behind his well wishes and I knew his words camouflaged his true feelings.
Charles began to walk away when William grabbed his arm. “Charles, please. I don’t wish to hurt you, but I can’t let you have her. I love her.” He let his hand fall to his side.
“As do I,” Charles whispered. He was finally being open instead of hiding behind false words and smiles.
I could feel William’s fists clench. “I know I shouldn’t ask this of you, brother, but may we have your blessing?”
Charles refused to face William, his back to him. “All I could ever wish for Adanna is her happiness and you know I wish the same for you.” He was tense. “But not for this. I’m sorry, Will, but…I can’t give my blessing. I thought I had buried all feelings for her the night you bonded. I thought it was done and over, but I allowed myself to hope. I‘m sorry Will, I‘m so sorry.”
He ran, shifting mid-stride. William was about to go after him.
No. Let me.
Are you sure? He’s unstable. I’m not sure what he’ll do when faced with what he wants most, yet can’t have. It may drive him over the edge.
Charles would never hurt me. You know this as well as I.
It’s not you I’m worried about. Charles may turn to drastic measures if you corner him. He’s hurting bad, Adanna.
I will do this, William. I have to.
William finally agreed.
The forest blurred and I was back, sitting against the canyon wall, Ty leaning over me.
“Spirit of Earth, you scared me little wolf. Where’d you go?”
The howl of a wolf pierced the air. One, long, sorrowful note echoed through the canyon, carrying the end of hope for the one whose brother I loved.
“Oh,” Ty whispered solemnly, realizing the truth. “Earth be with him.”
Standing and brushing the dirt from my clothes, I looked down at Ty. “I’m sorry, I have to go.”
Shifting once I was within the forest’s embrace, I ran for Charles. His pain was almost tangible, though I had no bond to help me feel his sorrow.
I found him hidden in the shadow of a massive oak, on his knees, tears streaming down his face. His hands clutched his head, pulling hair from his warrior’s tail.
Shifting silently, I was unable to move closer.
Never had I seen such pain and sorrow. He curled inward, his hands falling to the ground. His fingers dug into the soil, as if he were trying to hold onto something, anything to keep him from disappearing.
Step after agonizing step, I slowly moved forward. He never moved. It was when I stood before his hands, still tearing at the ground, that he became aware of my presence.
Not even looking at me, he pulled himself up to his knees, his arms winding around my waist as he lay his head against my stomach, tears staining my shirt. Sobs wracked his body. All I could do was lay a supporting hand at the back of his head and hope to lessen his pain.
Tears blocked any words of comfort I had to offer.
“Why? Of anyone it could have been, why him?”
I had no answer. Why did it have to be the brother of my betrothed? Why couldn’t it have been a stranger? Why couldn’t it have been Charles?
“I don’t want to hate him, but I do. I can’t help it. How can I love him as a brother should when he has what I never will? It is wrong, but I wish he had never been born, then I would be the one at your side.”
Tears choked back any reply I could or would have made.
“Is it possible to love and hate someone at the same time? I love and hate him and you.”
I flinched. His words stung. I didn’t want Charles to hate me, though I probably deserved it. We inflicted wounds that would not soon heal.
The back of my shirt was knotted in his trembling fists. I felt like a lamb in the clutches of a wolf. Would he strike?
It seemed like hours before Charles finally made his decision. He unknotted his fingers from my shirt and pushed me away. I stumbled over a stone in the ground and nearly fell. Tears still streamed down his face, but his eyes were set with determination.
“Tell Will I’m sorry, but I can’t stay.”
“Charles--” I pleaded, extending a hand.
“Don’t Adanna. I can’t. If I stay I’ll do something I’ll forever regret. I’ll grow to resent and hate you. Tell Will though I may not be by his side, I will be loyal to the end. My sword is his to command, in life or death.”
He turned to leave. I grasped at my heart, fearing it would break all over again. I cursed fate, I cursed my father, I cursed myself. What was the point of life if it only brought suffering and pain?
My knees began to buckle. Strong arms came around my waist as my strength failed. A tree was at my back, supporting half my weight.
I blinked back the tears expecting William’s dark eyes, but instead I found ice-white irises boring into me. He was close. Only inches apart, I could feel his breath on my lips.
“Come away with me, little Kira. Be my queen.” His voice cracked with a last desperate hope. He leaned in to kiss me, but I turned away. I hated to see the hurt in his eyes, but I couldn’t. I had already given my heart to his brother and I refused to betray him.
A sigh of resignation caressed my cheek. “Farewell little Kira. I fear we shall never meat again in this life while my brother lives.”
Fresh tears stained my cheeks. Did they never end? “It doesn’t have to be that way Charles. There’s someone else out there for you, someone better than me, I just know it.”
“I don’t want there to be anyone else. I want it to be you.” He turned his back on me and disappeared into the shadows.
I let the tree take my weight as I slid to the forest floor, my arms wrapped around my knees. William wasn’t far. He was at my side minutes after Charles left.
“You can still refuse my proposal, Adanna. You can go after him.”
I blinked back tears. “What?”
William smiled sadly. “I can feel your pain, Adanna. You hurt for him. Your heart is breaking. You’re free, I won’t force you to stay against your will.”
Pulling my hand back, I slapped him with all the force I could muster. “Don’t you ever, ever say such things again.” Wrapping my arms around his neck, I whispered in his ear. “Charles is a very dear friend and I hate hurting him, but…I love you.” I couldn’t let him see my face, I didn’t doubt it was beet red. I’d finally uttered the words I had hidden for weeks.
Keeping my lips to his ear I told him everything. William’s arms squeezed tighter and tighter as I continued the telling. By the end he held me in a vice-like grip. His emotions were wild and out of control.
“And so Cain slew Abel.”